& I'm just a girl.

Reality.

"Who am I?" the girl asked the guy. "Like I know who I am, but who am I to you? That's not right either, who am I as a person I guess?" She finally settled on her question, and sent the message through her phone to his.

She fell asleep waiting for his answer. And when she awoke, and read his reply, it silenced all of her other thoughts.

"You are like a mountain on the horizon that I can't get to." Was all he wrote.

And she didn't know how to reply. All she knew was that she was infatuated with the words. With his words. And because she craved more words, although could not have them, she repeated the simple sentence over and over again. And somehow knowing the words spoke truth, and came from him, the demons inside her where also at peace. For once she had found something that had made her feel as if she wasn't a lost hope, and she buried away the thought of not being able to have it. Because those thoughts are the kind that send the demons roaring. So she repeated the sentence committing it to memory, and for the time being the demons were silenced.

************************

I think there are people who are to far in.

To far into the reality in their heads. Which isn't a reality at all but they refuse to believe that.

I can admit to being guilty of being consumed in my own realities. The ones inside my head. Although I'd like to consider myself in an in between state. The things I dream about are merely extensions of something that had already happened. Sometimes things I wish I had said. Other times things I wish I hadn't said. But in the end the past is the past, already written and documented in ink. And everybody know's what had happened, so no amount of burning the recorded truth would help as the documents are the least of our worries.

Sometimes I wish I could change my past.

If only I could go back, and rewrite it the outcome would be different and my head would have a fraction of sanity left.

Other times, when I look at the mirror and see myself standing back, the last thing I want is to change my past because its who I am, my past is my future. And I don't mean in some never ending time loop where everything I did I'll do again. No. I mean my past is what has made me today and what will continue to make in the future. The present is that past when tomorrow comes after all. So why waste time holding regret? My reality now will work out because it always has. The amount of mistakes I make along the way doesn't matter because they shape me. They build my character and my will, as long as I know they are mistakes and make an effort to correct them my future couldn't be that bad.

Right now my reality seems to be something along the lines of day dreaming. You see the beginning of my reality isn't something of fiction. And my future depends on which pieces of my past I decide to step on and which ones I decide to step over. If I risk getting cut on the broken glass again, or if I get away with nothing but an old scar. If I give him a map to reach the horizon, or if I don't. Either is a decision that only I can make and will affect me. Which is for the better or worse I could not tell you.

I guess the only thing I can give to you as a piece of advice is to live in the present, even as its slipping away. Isn't that the present is so short-lived even more of a reason to make it worthwhile?

Accept your past, I know you have flaws but who doesn't? Everybody has a past and a story, but everybody has a future too. And as for love. Well sometimes you get confused and stumble over the pebbles that are scattered throughout your path, but a pebble is not a reason to stay on the ground, is it?

Live in your reality.

Sometimes the ones inside your head are the answers to the questions you have outside of it.