CH. 5

895 16 17
                                    

JAN 15TH
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⚠️TW: mentions of SA⚠️
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Today is my date with Ben, I guess date, I don't know what to call it since we just met but it doesn't matter.

We replaced it to today since last time didn't work out. He also decided to go to a restaurant instead of a museum, he thinks both of us would like the restaurant more.

But with my fear of eating in public I would love the museum, but I'm just not gonna bother him with changing plans again.

Even tho the restaurant isn't that far away, it's more than 25 minutes, by foot, and it's gonna be dark by the time I'll arrive there, I'm just gonna ask Holden to bring me.

Well, more of a, beg Holden to bring me.

Holden has always brought me with the car whenever I asked him to -which surprises me too- but now that I'm going on a date with a guy I just met, he'll probably tell me to walk.

I don't even know why he doesn't want me to go, It's probably just because my brother wouldn't allow it. But I'm 20, 21 in 4 months, and I can take care of myself.

I've said that so many times and I won't stop till people realize I'm an adult and don't need to be treated like I'm still 12.

And I have pepper spray just in case anything happens, but Ben seems like a lovely guy so It's gonna be okay, I hope.

I put on a black dress with a leather jacket since it's freezing, black boots and black thighs underneath.

I stare at myself for a few more minutes in the mirror, I used to be insecure of what I looked like but then I realized I don't give a fuck what people think.

I love this outfit, after finishing taking about a hundred pictures I open my bedside drawer and grab my inhaler.

I take a puff and put it in my bag. I pause to take a deep breath in and exhale.

Your gonna be okay it's just a restaurant I repeat about 10 times in my head before going downstairs.

Holden is sitting on the couch and turns his head when he hears me coming downstairs. Probably expecting to see me in an outfit that looks like I haven't gotten out of my bed in 5 days, which is what he has seen these past days.

I don't think I told him I replaced the date with Ben today.

He turns his whole body around now. "Where you going?" He asks looking me up and down.

"Restaurant"

"With who?"

"Ben" his eyes narrow.

"Him?, the guy from the coffee place?" He says and I nod my head.

"I look good don't I?" I twirl as he's observing me.

"You look terrible" he says flatly and turns back around. I will throw my bag at him.

"Shut up, you're just jealous I have a date and you haven't dated anyone in years" I roll my eyes.
"Fuck off" he scolds.

"You fuck off" I regret saying that when I realize he's the only way I can get to my date so I start walking over to the couch. My footsteps echoing through the house as my heels hit the floor.

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