Lunar Poetry

my dream life

january 23, 2023

what do i envision my dream life to look like? well, there's a lot of the colour blue, clear and crystals. that makes sense to no one but me.
i picture my life through, well, you guessed it, pictures. i have a whole vision board on my pinterest dedicated to give me a sense of where i want to be in the future, and what path i'll pave to continue making myself happy and satisfied with the life i'm living. there are no destinations, just new adventures and experiences to live until i die. i really love the song 'smile when i die' by sasha sloan, because it encapsulates how i see my end. i want to be smiling when i die, finally at peace.

it's a surreal feeling to even imagine your own death, but it's inevitable and i'd like to be comfortable with it. i don't want to have any regrets, but i know that i will, however none will be great enough to deter me from my satisfaction from my way of living. it's truly an art, to live, to be.

i see myself passing away while praying, kneeling before god and saying my last prayers, then making eye contact with the people i love, my family, whoever they may be. it'll be a lovely spring day outside, or in a room full of soft sunshine, making everyone i love and mine's faces glow with noor. how incredible.

currently, i'd like to learn to become an adult and stand completely on my own, as my father always wants me to. he wants me to be an independant woman, to not depend on anybody but myself and god, because as much as you love your people, they are still human and we must allow them to make their mistakes. nobody is perfect but god, so what really matters is my relationship between him and i.

my mother nourished me with love and care, even though i was a difficult, hyperactive, constantly running around or chasing animals child, and raised me to think clearly, patiently and have tawakkul, to trust that everything will be alright by allah. she taught me how to navigate a warm heart in a cold world, and to constantly be the change i wish to see in the world. some of these qualities are honesty (being genuine and real), loyalty (being there for the people who have helped you along the way and not ditching them for 'cooler' people) and pure heartedness (truly being a pure of heart person, seeing the best in everyone and every situation, not judging until every side has spoken, making fair and equitable decisions, making everyone feel included, wanting for others what i want for myself, being humble). other things i'd like to change are the failing healthcare systems around the world, beginning with ottawa, then ontario, then the eastern provinces and then all of cañada. we need to value our healthcare professionals the same way we value celebrities, money and businessmen, because we wouldn't be alive and healthy without them. also, we need to get rid of the corruption in said healthcares, they must be opened up for work to every qualified person, not the people who have connections with their relatives and friends who also work in healthcare. this nepotism must be stopped, this is why our country is not thriving. more jobs, more increase in salary. budgetary cuts to irrelevant things and more money versed in healthcare, education, innovation, conservation and public safety. less in attractions, tourism and entertainment, unless they bring in more money to put towards those domaines.

so, what are the basic things i need to settle to be considered 'standing on my own'?
- a stable full time job with the government
- stable earnings in my bank account
- pay off student loans
- getting my own place
- buying my own groceries, furniture, decoration
- cooking and preparing my own meals
- cleaning and organizing my place
- paying phone, electricity, utilities, internet and other monthly bills
- my own car and license of course
- working and stabilizing my life for a year, making connections, volunteering, community work, meeting with friends, family and family friends
- travelling with friends the next 2 years
- getting married
- becoming a community leader and career advancement
- pay off parents' mortgages
- getting in tune with my finer skills and training for new opportunities
- have a higher position, one that impacts the country at federal level in decision making
- hajj with the husband, with another couple friend
- adopt two rag dolls