𝗹'𝗮𝗺𝗼𝘂𝗿 ; 𝗻𝗼𝘁𝘁𝗶 𝗼𝘀𝗮𝗺𝗮

𝗶𝗻𝘁𝗿𝗼𝗱𝘂𝗰𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻 !

𝗹𝗼𝘃𝗲.
𝗻𝗼𝘂𝗻
𝟭 𝗮𝗻 𝗶𝗻𝘁𝗲𝗻𝘀𝗲 𝗳𝗲𝗲𝗹𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗼𝗳 𝗱𝗲𝗲𝗽 𝗮𝗳𝗳𝗲𝗰𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻: 𝗯𝗮𝗯𝗶𝗲𝘀 𝗳𝗶𝗹𝗹 𝗽𝗮𝗿𝗲𝗻𝘁𝘀 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵 𝗳𝗲𝗲𝗹𝗶𝗻𝗴𝘀 𝗼𝗳 𝗹𝗼𝘃𝗲 | 𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗶𝗿 𝗹𝗼𝘃𝗲 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗶𝗿 𝗰𝗼𝘂𝗻𝘁𝗿𝘆.
• 𝗮 𝗳𝗲𝗲𝗹𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗼𝗳 𝗱𝗲𝗲𝗽 𝗿𝗼𝗺𝗮𝗻𝘁𝗶𝗰 𝗼𝗿 𝘀𝗲𝘅𝘂𝗮𝗹 𝗮𝘁𝘁𝗮𝗰𝗵𝗺𝗲𝗻𝘁 𝘁𝗼 𝘀𝗼𝗺𝗲𝗼𝗻𝗲: 𝘁𝗵𝗲𝘆 𝘄𝗲𝗿𝗲 𝗯𝗼𝘁𝗵 𝗶𝗻 𝗹𝗼𝘃𝗲 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵 𝗵𝗲𝗿 𝗜 𝘄𝗲 𝘄𝗲𝗿𝗲 𝘀𝗹𝗼𝘄𝗹𝘆 𝗳𝗮𝗹𝗹𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗶𝗻 𝗹𝗼𝘃𝗲 𝗜 𝗶𝘁 𝘄𝗮𝘀 𝗹𝗼𝘃𝗲 𝗮𝘁 𝗳𝗶𝗿𝘀𝘁 𝘀𝗶𝗴𝗵𝘁
𝗜 [𝗮𝘀 𝗺𝗼𝗱𝗶𝗳𝗶𝗲𝗿]: 𝗹𝗼𝘃𝗲 𝘀𝗼𝗻𝗴𝘀.
• 𝗮𝗳𝗳𝗲𝗰𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻𝗮𝘁𝗲 𝗴𝗿𝗲𝗲𝘁𝗶𝗻𝗴𝘀 𝗰𝗼𝗻𝘃𝗲𝘃𝗲𝗱 𝘁𝗼 𝘀𝗼𝗺𝗲𝗼𝗻𝗲 𝗼𝗻 𝗼𝗻𝗲'𝘀 𝗯𝗲𝗵𝗮𝗹𝗳: 𝗴𝗶𝘃𝗲 𝗵𝗲𝗿 𝗺𝘆 𝗹𝗼𝘃𝗲.
• 𝗮 𝗳𝗼𝗿𝗺𝘂𝗹𝗮 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝗲𝗻𝗱𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗮𝗻 𝗮𝗳𝗳𝗲𝗰𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻𝗮𝘁𝗲 𝗹𝗲𝘁𝘁𝗲𝗿: 𝘁𝗮𝗸𝗲 𝗰𝗮𝗿𝗲, 𝗹𝗼𝘁𝘀 𝗼𝗳 𝗹𝗼𝘃𝗲, 𝗝𝘂𝗱𝘆.
• (𝗟𝗼𝘃𝗲) 𝗮 𝗽𝗲𝗿𝘀𝗼𝗻𝗶𝗳𝗶𝗲𝗱 𝗳𝗶𝗴𝘂𝗿𝗲 𝗼𝗳 𝗹𝗼𝘃𝗲, 𝗼𝗳𝘁𝗲𝗻 𝗿𝗲𝗽𝗿𝗲𝘀𝗲𝗻𝘁𝗲𝗱 𝗮𝘀 𝗖𝘂𝗽𝗶𝗱.

𝘃𝗲𝗿𝗯 [𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵 𝗼𝗯𝗷𝗲𝗰𝘁]
𝟭 𝗳𝗲𝗲𝗹 𝗱𝗲𝗲𝗽 𝗮𝗳𝗳𝗲𝗰𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻 𝗳𝗼𝗿 (𝘀𝗼𝗺𝗲𝗼𝗻𝗲): 𝗵𝗲 𝗹𝗼𝘃𝗲𝗱 𝗵𝗶𝘀 𝘀𝗶𝘀𝘁𝗲𝗿 𝗱𝗲𝗮𝗿𝗹𝘆 | 𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗿𝗲 𝘄𝗲𝗿𝗲 𝗳𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗺𝗲𝗺𝗼𝗿𝗶𝗮𝗹 𝗽𝗮𝗴𝗲𝘀 𝘀𝗲𝘁 𝘂𝗽 𝗯𝘆 𝗵𝗲𝗿 𝗳𝗿𝗶𝗲𝗻𝗱𝘀 𝗶𝗻 𝗵𝗼𝗻𝗼𝗿 𝗼𝗳 𝗣𝗵𝗼𝗲𝗯𝗲, 𝘀𝗮𝘆𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗵𝗼𝘄 𝗺𝘂𝗰𝗵 𝘁𝗵𝗲𝘆 𝗹𝗼𝘃𝗲𝗱 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗺𝗶𝘀𝘀𝗲𝗱 𝗵𝗲𝗿.
• 𝗳𝗲𝗲𝗹 𝗮 𝗱𝗲𝗲𝗽 𝗿𝗼𝗺𝗮𝗻𝘁𝗶𝗰 𝗼𝗿 𝘀𝗲𝘅𝘂𝗮𝗹 𝗮𝘁𝘁𝗮𝗰𝗵𝗺𝗲𝗻𝘁 𝘁𝗼 (𝘀𝗼𝗺𝗲𝗼𝗻𝗲): 𝘀𝗵𝗲 𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗹𝗹𝘆 𝗹𝗼𝘃𝗲𝗱 𝗵𝗶𝗺 | 𝗜 𝗱𝗼 𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗹𝗶𝘇𝗲 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗽𝗲𝗼𝗽𝗹𝗲 𝗴𝗲𝘁 𝗺𝗮𝗿𝗿𝗶𝗲𝗱 𝗯𝗲𝗰𝗮𝘂𝘀𝗲 𝘁𝗵𝗲𝘆 𝗹𝗼𝘃𝗲 𝗲𝗮𝗰𝗵 𝗼𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗿.

𝗳𝗮𝗹𝗹 𝗶𝗻 𝗹𝗼𝘃𝗲
𝗱𝗲𝘃𝗲𝗹𝗼𝗽 𝗮 𝗱𝗲𝗲𝗽 𝗿𝗼𝗺𝗮𝗻𝘁𝗶𝗰 𝗼𝗿 𝘀𝗲𝘅𝘂𝗮𝗹 𝗮𝘁𝘁𝗮𝗰𝗵𝗺𝗲𝗻𝘁 𝘁𝗼 𝘀𝗼𝗺𝗲𝗼𝗻𝗲: /'𝘃𝗲 𝗳𝗮𝗹𝗹𝗲𝗻 𝗶𝗻 𝗹𝗼𝘃𝗲 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵 𝘆𝗼𝘂 | 𝘄𝗲 𝘄𝗲𝗿𝗲 𝘀𝗹𝗼𝘄𝗹𝘆 𝗳𝗮𝗹𝗹𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗶𝗻 𝗹𝗼𝘃𝗲.
• 𝗱𝗲𝘃𝗲𝗹𝗼𝗽 𝗮 𝗱𝗲𝗲𝗽 𝗹𝗶𝗸𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝘀𝗼𝗺𝗲𝘁𝗵𝗶𝗻𝗴: / 𝗰𝗮𝗺𝗲 𝘁𝗼 𝗦𝗮𝗻 𝗙𝗿𝗮𝗻𝗰𝗶𝘀𝗰𝗼 𝘁𝗼 𝘃𝗶𝘀𝗶𝘁 𝗮 𝗳𝗿𝗶𝗲𝗻𝗱 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗳𝗲𝗹𝗹 𝗶𝗻 𝗹𝗼𝘃𝗲 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗰𝗶𝘁𝘆.
𝗳𝗮𝗹𝗹 𝗼𝘂𝘁 𝗼𝗳 𝗹𝗼𝘃𝗲
𝗰𝗲𝗮𝘀𝗲 𝘁𝗼 𝗳𝗲𝗲𝗹 𝗮 𝗱𝗲𝗲𝗽 𝗿𝗼𝗺𝗮𝗻𝘁𝗶𝗰 𝗼𝗿 𝘀𝗲𝘅𝘂𝗮𝗹 𝗮𝘁𝘁𝗮𝗰𝗵𝗺𝗲𝗻𝘁 𝘁𝗼 𝘀𝗼𝗺𝗲𝗼𝗻𝗲: 𝘄𝗲 𝗷𝘂𝘀𝘁 𝗳𝗲𝗹𝗹 𝗼𝘂𝘁 𝗼𝗳 𝗹𝗼𝘃𝗲 | 𝗠𝗶𝗸𝗲 𝘁𝗵𝗼𝘂𝗴𝗵𝘁 𝗵𝗶𝘀 𝘄𝗶𝗳𝗲 𝗵𝗮𝗱 𝗳𝗮𝗹𝗹𝗲𝗻 𝗼𝘂𝘁 𝗼𝗳 𝗹𝗼𝘃𝗲 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵 𝗵𝗶𝗺.
• 𝗯𝗲𝗰𝗼𝗺𝗲 𝗱𝗶𝘀𝗲𝗻𝗰𝗵𝗮𝗻𝘁𝗲𝗱 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵 𝘀𝗼𝗺𝗲𝘁𝗵𝗶𝗻𝗴: 𝗵𝗲 𝗮𝗱𝗺𝗶𝘁𝘁𝗲𝗱 𝘁𝗼 𝗳𝗮𝗹𝗹𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗼𝘂𝘁 𝗼𝗳 𝗹𝗼𝘃𝗲 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗴𝗮𝗺𝗲.

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it was safe to say, y/n didnt know how to love. despite being surrounded by family and friends all her life, she felt so lonely. never good enough, but always trying her hardest. putting in her all yet never
receiving anything other than a "you can do better," or "if you worked harder, life wouldn't be so hard."

i love you,
te amo,
je t'aime,
ik hou van jou,
mahal kita,
wǒ ài nǐ.

no matter what language it was in, she couldn't seem to wrap her head around it. y/n found herself getting sick everytime someone said that to her, although she said it back, it took everything in her. growing weary by every second that went by whenever she was with someone she desired attention or affection from, but not knowing how to say it. staying to herself, keeping quiet. its not like she'd never had guys ask her out before, she really wanted to give them a try too. its just, they were all assholes with no real feelings other than teenage boy hormones.

it wasn't the people that were the problem. she didn't have a phobia of germs, infact her love language was physical touch. she just didn't know how to express it, and found it difficult to do so. she wanted to hug, shake hands, kiss, even, but she just couldn't bring herself to do so.

she was just afraid.

afraid that if she let down her guard for once second something bad would happen. the empty feeling she so desperately hated would be filled, just to be carved out again by worthless, meaningless feelings. empty words with no meaning, the actions that spoke louder hurt her feelings and abused her mental and physical state heavily. the disgusting feeling she got everytime someone would try to love her, the strong urge to throw up whenever someone showed her the slightest bit of affection because she didn't feel she deserved it.

the morbid thoughts flooding her mind as she scratched and picked at her body hoping, praying, the feeling would get better. the screams echoing throughout her bathroom and she sprawled out on the floor silently crying out for help knowing nobody could hear. tugging and pulling on her hair, weeping until she couldn't bear it and would eventually just try to sleep it off, hoping she woke up the next morning a new person with a new life, new body,
new fresh start.

snapping out of her trance, y/n stared out the window of her mothers car, wondering how this would go. new state, new school. her mom was a buisness woman, so they moved around alot because of the different opportunities. her father lived overseas so she rarely saw him. hell, she rarely saw her mom too despite them living together.

exiting the car, she stood infront of a nice house, two story, three bedroom, three bathroom. one for them, and one for guests. though, y/n didn't have any friends to invite over anyway.

grabbing her suitcase, y/n took in a deep breath before entering the house.

as expected, just like the last, it was furnished. y/n carried her stuff up the stairs and went to her new room. she began unpacking her things rather quickly, this wasn't her first time doing this anyway. the faster you adjust, the less you think about how things used to be.

but would they even get better?

it was already late, y/n put away her things, showered, did skincare, and layed flat on her bed. she didn't bother having dinner, it'd just make her feel even worse. although she tossed and turned, she couldn't sleep. she had her first day of school, well, this school tomorrow, she absolutely hated being the new girl. all the stares, looks, whispers. all of the people crowding her and coming up to her. having to make new friends, take advanced classes, find, her classes, and do extracurriculars to please her mother all over again.

y/n stood up and got on her knees at the edge of her bed and began to pray. pray on all the things that could go wrong tomorrow, there was always something that didn't go right.

y/n climbed back into bed after dusting herself off. she actually got under the blanket this time. laying her head down, she felt better. her eyes slowly fluttered shut as she drifted off to sleep hoping to wake up the next day fully energized and more
open-minded.

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1000 words, not proofread

tell me what you guys think :)