Thoughtless jealousy

Demon on my shoulder

Jimin turned his phone off. His mind was over run with self hate.
How had he expected to hold Jungkooks interest, all this time he must have harboured thoughts against Jimin it had slipped so easily from his mouth.
Your pitiful the demon in his shoulder said, who would want you look at yourself.
Jimin looked at himself in the mirror, was he putting on weight, maybe he wasn't working out enough.
He packed a gym bag and went to the private club knowing nobody would bother him there.
For two hours he exercised until he felt lightheaded .
He sat down drinking water until he felt better then grabbing his bag drove home.
He went up to his apartment stopping as he saw Jungkook leaning outside.
"You've changed the code."
Jimin just nodded.
"Are you going to invite me in?"
"No."
"Jimin, look I was a total ass ok, I'm sorry."
"Is that all...., ok goodbye."
He waited for Jungkook to go but instead the maknae took hold of him pressing his lips against Jimins seeking a response.
Jimin pulled away," Don't anyone could catch us..., then you would blame me for that too."
The lift pinged and both turned towards it and Jimin used those few seconds to put in his code and slip through the door before Jungkook realised.
Jungkook swore under his breath leaning his head against Jimins door, he wanted more, he wanted to feel close to the other to express how sorry he was. Sighing he got in the lift and left.
Jimin slid down the wall his fingers on his lips , oh how he had wanted more, but his demon was telling him none of it was real.
He showered crawling into bed, he'd not eaten all day but he didn't feel hungry.
He slept fitfully waking up to his alarm. He had to meet Taemin today to start practising.
He drank a couple of mouthfuls of milk then left to drive to the location .
"Hey Jimin, how are you excited about the collab?"
Jimin faked a smile," of course."
"I bet Jungkooks pleased for you, it will be a great showcase for your dance skills."
Taemin knew all about Jimin and Jungkook, previously Jimin had blurted out how he wanted to make Jungkook proud of him.
Taemin had been surprised at Jimins lack of confidence, he always seemed bright and lively.
"Yes......., he let me know what he thought,"Jimin said quietly not telling the other the truth.
"Great..., let's work out a plan then."
The next three hours were spent with a choreographer planning and practising.
"Are you sure this won't be too much Jimin, after all I get a rest whereas you dance then I join you."
"I'll be fine, don't worry."
"Ok then that's it for today, your manager sent over a timetable so we can work with that, we also have our group sets for that night."
Jimin nodded then said his goodbyes and left, he saw his security waiting for him, passing his car keys to one he asked him to drive his car back to his apartment as he already felt tired but had to meet up with the others .
He took the lift to the meeting room, he was early so sat on a sofa closing his eyes feeling sleep take him over.
"Jimin...hey Jimin wake up."
Jimin lifted heavy eyes to see the others grouped around him Hobi kneeling beside him looking worried.
He sat up quickly ignoring the dizziness,
"Oh sorry, I fell asleep waiting for your lazy asses." He joked.
"Why did you get here early I lazed in bed," Suga admitted.
"I was practising with Taemin for three hours,"
"Jimin isn't that a bit much?" Tae asked
"No we are on a tight schedule plus we have our own group set to do."
"Ours shouldn't be too hard Jimin we have performed it before so it's just a case of knowing the stage size and being fluent, so if you get tired you can rest up."
"I'll be fine, I'm not letting you down,"
"Jimin, Rm didn't mean that we all know you won't let us down it's about pacing yourself." Jungkook said staring at the other already seeing stress on his face.
Jimin didn't look at him, he didn't want to fall for his kind words, he was trying so hard to be less pushy, less irritating, all he needed was to work, keep busy do his best.
The group chose the song they wanted to do and Jimin was pleased he knew the routine with his eyes shut, so it surprised him when he stumbled missing the beat.
"I'm sorry, I'm really sorry," he blurted out.
"Hey it's ok, it's nothing major, calm down," Jin said.
The little demon spoke, see they can all see how rubbish you are, they are all looking at you........
"I'll get it right this time....."
The others frowned, Jimin just wasn't himself what had gone on between the two.
Jimin concentrated hard on not messing up again.
It was time to go, Jimin hurried out so no one would talk to him.
"Jungkook, we want to talk."
Jungkook went over to find them all staring at him.
"So what's going on between you two, Jimin isn't ok." RM said.
Jungkook sighed," we had a disagreement , I said some things I'm not proud of ....I've tried to apologise but it's like he can't hear me."
"What could possibly make you argue for it to get like this ?"
"I um I got jealous of him dancing with Taemin ok!"
"Does he get jealous when you go off doing songs with others?"
"Of course not he supports me...,oh...."
"Why do you let your jealousy get you mad?"
"I can't help it, I think someone else will take him from me..."
"So you try to drive him away instead,Duh!" Tae said.
Looking from their point of view he saw how ridiculous it was.
"How do I get him to listen, I said some pretty awful stuff.."
"Well, as long as you didn't insinuate he was a two timer or looking for attention you should be able to make up," Hobi said.
Jungkooks guilty face said it all.
"Really Kook you know how insecure Jimin is, he second guesses everything!"
"I know,I'm awful I hate myself."
"Well that's not going to help, you have to show him how sorry you are."
"How ? He doesn't even acknowledge me?"
"Do little things, let him feel comfortable around you again," Jin said.
Jungkook sighed he wanted Jimin back he missed him, his laugh ,his beautiful smile , the way he felt.
"Ok I'll try harder.."
The others nodded then they all got up and left.
Back in his apartment Jungkook lay on his bed thinking what he could do.
Getting in the phone he made some arrangements to begin his plan.
Jimin opened his door to find a delivery boy there.
"Sir, please sign,"
"But I haven't ordered anything?"
"This is you, yes?" Showing the delivery label.
Jimin nodded so signed for it taking it inside.
He opened the box to see a beautifully arranged fruit basket.
Pulling it out he saw it was filled with his favourite fruits.
Tucked inside was a card.
Words can never convey how sorry I am
Love
J
Jimin stared a half smile forming. The gift was lovely but did he deserve it?
He debated for nearly an hour but couldn't bring himself to give it away. He missed Jungkook so any little token from him was a salve on his injured heart.
Biting his lip he sent a text to him,
"Thanks"
He then turned his phone off , he wasn't ready to open up.
Jungkook danced around his room," he answered!!!"
It was a small start but better than nothing.