Little Rants of the Broken Mind

Happy Now?

Channing didn't want to do it, but he has to. He just wants everyone to be happy.

His room was dark, the lights were out, curtains and blinds pulled down, door's closed. Good, good, he thought. No one's gonna disturb me.

He was deathly afraid of the dark. Dark is the place where the unknown lurks and bids its time to jump on you and scare you to death. But now, the dark is Channing's sanctuary. For in the dark, you can hide, you are safe. No one can see you in the dark, so therefore no one could hurt you.

His room reeked of stale alcohol he had snuck out from his father's room. It was vodka...or maybe it was Jack Daniels or Budweiser? The fuck he cares. As long as it numbs him to the world, it's fine... very fine.

Memories flood his mind. Memories that he wanted to relive, but is afraid to delve into.

It was on a cold December night in the back of the decrepit multiplex flat in Camden High Street where Channing and his drunkard for a father live. The winter snow was making everything white. He didn't really want to come out, especially on a night as cold as this, but Lukas insisted that he go down. In fact he was persistent on making Channing go down.

Channing pulled the trench coat he was wearing around him more tightly. It wasn't his really, but his father only seldom uses it, so he just assumed that it was his now. Lukas was looking at him as Channing made his way towards the bigger boy. Lukas' black hair was tucked inside a beanie, half of his face covered with a red woolly scarf.

He knew that going anywhere near his own tormenter is against every single rule that he has,but Channing was curious as to what Lukas Enzo really want.

"What do you want?" Channing murmured, keeping a good distance between him and the bigger boy who had always made his life miserable than it already is.

Lukas looked uneasily at Channing. "I just came here to, uh, a-apologise, um, for all the things I've done to you."

Channing was surprised and doubtful at the same time. Lukas Enzo is apologising to him? It seemed surreal to him to the point that the little boy suspected his real intentions for coming here, in the middle of the night during Christmas Eve.

"Do you think you could take me as a fool forever?" he snapped angrily. Lukas winced and took a step back. "You are apologising? To me? That is bloody impossible. Ever since year seven, you have treated me like shit. You are a massive douche bag to me. You have something up on your sleeves, don't you? You are going to pull my leg again in front of everyone, won't you?"

"What? No!" Lukas defended, a hurt expression stamped on his handsome features.

"Then what is it that you want?" Channing bursts out, screaming at the older Welsh boy. "I'm tired, Lukas. I'm sick and tired of all the shit you and your people are throwing at me every damn time."

Lukas cast his head down in sadness, suddenly feeling ashamed and guilty. "I know. That's why I'm here to apologise and..." He trailed off as he pulled out a small gift-wrapped box from his winter coat. "And I want you to meet me in a different light."

He gave the box to the little boy, who was looking at it and at him sceptically. "What is this? A jack-in-the-box? A time bomb? Poisonous cheese toasties?"

"Poisonous cheese toasties, no!" Lukas snickered. "It's not like that. It's, um, a mixtape."

"Mixtape?"

"Mixtape," the bigger boy confirmed. "Listen to it tonight. Um, I mean if you want to."

Channing looked at him doubtfully. Not only Lukas Enzo came to his flat to apologise, but he's also given him a gift. Something that he didn't imagine that would happen ever. He's still anxious about what's inside the small red box. If it really is a mixtape, then what's inside it? A blank message? Lukas Enzo repeatedly saying that Channing should die? Whatever. Either way he was going to be the idiot in the end.