Sincerely Yours

Chapter One

-September 26th, 1991-

The rain on her bedroom window was a still and pleasant watch as her head laid on her cold pillow. With hollow and vacant eyes, she watches the rain drops clump together and makes small rivers that travel down the glass. It was almost calming in a way, it brought her a sense of tranquility even with her heavy heart.

Moments later she shuts her eyes and pulls the covers up, till she hears a faint whisper of her name come from behind. For a moment she freezes, but she smiles, turning around to see her laying down. Aya watches the wide toothless grin that was etched across her face, she watches the significant features on her face especially her dark brown eyes. The light in them was still as bright as ever, still so full of life.

"Aya..." she said her name again, gazing through her. "What are you still doing in bed? It's 10:30 in the morning".

"I'm tired, Esther, don't feel like getting up yet" Aya replied

"Well you have to soon, you're going up to Cambridge today, finally going to study medicine at your dream University after taking time off to work for two years. Remember how you used to talk about it all the time? ever since we were eight years old you would tell me how you always wanted to go study there".

As Esther slowly sat up on the bed, Aya couldn't help but focus her eyes on her every move, once again taking in her presence. "I've worked so hard to end up here, its everything that I want, but I wish you were coming with me" she sighed.

"You know there was no way I would've gotten into Cambridge especially with my grades... but you Aya, you're the genius, you're the one that's going to go on and become this successful Doctor" said Esther as she gently stroked her hair. "Now get up, you know your mum doesn't like you sleeping in this late. I'm sorry that she still treats you like a child but that's Nigerian mothers for you, my Jamaican mum drove me insane too you know how she was" she uttered as the two girls laughed along with each other.

"Well that's because you would sleep in till 3 pm everyday and I always had to come to your house to drag you out of bed" said Aya while in-between laughs.

"I was a mess really, wasn't I, its a good thing I had you" she breathed out.

"You're great... you still are".

Fragments of thoughts, splinters of words and droplets of quietness spun into a rapid jumble, which shifted in its core and shook up the room. Aya slowly lifted her head up from the pillow as she watched Esther's smile begin to slowly disappear and she knew what was to come. She loved that smile so much, it was one of the rarest of smiles that motivates you and makes you want to wake up in the morning, but although her smile lit up the room wherever she went, she wished that she could've seen behind it before it was too late. Maybe she would've been able to stop her.

"You're doing it again, talking to me in present tense and imagining this conversation between us... Aya, its not real I'm sorry, you're going to have to let go someday... you know that I'm dead".

Aya looked at her with a painful stare and a thumping feeling in her heart as Esther looked back at her with the same expression. She went to cup her face, but Aya couldn't feel her touch no matter how desperately she wanted to. She shut her eyes for a brief moment before opening it back up again to see that Esther had disappeared and she was left alone in her bedroom once again.

Tears began to fill her eyes as she sits still on her bed while staring of into thin air. This was how it was every morning, she would sit and imagine these conversations with her that felt so real, but in the end it was all just in her head.