Pick Me, Choose Me, Love Me

The End.

It's quiet, being outside.

Inside the tent, there's noise and colorful lights and revelry. Inside the tent, there's so much effervescent happiness.

And love. There's so much of that too.

But out here, it's blissfully quiet. Jaehyun enjoys the silence. There's no need to speak. No need to work past the lump in his throat. He's alone, with nothing more than the cold and his racing mind to keep him company.

And then someone disturbs his fragile peace.

"Mind if I join you? Mom'll kill me if she sees me with a cigarette," Ten says as he swishes past the draped curtains and leaves the party behind like it isn't his.

Jaehyun nods silently (the lump has grown bigger) and gestures at a forgotten and overturned crate across from the one he's sitting on. What a coincidence.

Ten's not wearing his tuxedo jacket, but there's red on his cheeks and steam practically rising off his body. He won't be needing his jacket, at least not for the few minutes it takes him to finish his cigarette. The frigid late November air has already done a number on Jaehyun, who left his jacket inside on purpose.

He doesn't mind. The cold gives him an excuse to feel numb.

He feels Ten's gaze settle upon him like a heavy cloak and tries not to curl up into a ball. Like seeing light after spending interminable time in darkness, looking at Ten hurts.

"How'd you like the ceremony?" Ten asks, voice slightly muffled as he tries to keep the cigarette between his lips and light the end at the same time.

It doesn't seem like Ten is particularly interested in hearing the answer, but Jaehyun indulges him anyway.

"It was nice. Fancy."

"Yeah?"

"I'm almost afraid to ask how much it all cost," he jokes, knowing it will fall as flat in Ten's ears as it does in his own.

Ten shrugs. "I wouldn't know. His family planned all of it. I just showed up and picked things when they told me to."

The forced nonchalance in Ten's voice grates on Jaehyun's ears. He hates it. And what he hates even more is that he knows Ten is lying. This wedding has Ten written all over it. It's the picture perfect Ten Lee wedding and Jaehyun hates every inch of it.

They sit in silence for a bit, Ten leaning over his crossed legs as he smokes, as if he wants to get closer to Jaehyun. Jaehyun's hands hurt from the cold. He wishes there were something he could do with them. Wishes he could hold something, someone. Maybe destroy something. Something besides Ten. That's not an option anymore.

More than anything, he wants to make the cold go away.