E.O.T.F.W

Chapter 1: January

Tuesday, January 3rd 2023 1:45pm
Well I'm almost running out of space in this notebook I'm gonna have to find a new one soon. I don't think it will be that hard. Anyway, happy new year I guess. I'm going to be signing off for a while because this is the last page in this journal. Before I go I want to say some things that my actual journal entry would have. Here we go: It has been a whole week since my boyfriend Aiden committed suicide, and 1 year since my best friend did too. and it seems im the only one who cares. My boyfriend was in the adoption center his whole life, and I only knew him because my favorite restaurant was right across the street from the adoption center and we accidentally bumped into each other there when his card declined so I had offered to pay for him. It was love at first sight. And as for my best friend, Jackson. We knew  each other since kindergarten. I miss them so much... Anyway signing of until who knows when. -Max.

Sunday,January 19th,2023 2:30pm
Well i guess this is it. My mom got me this jorunal to "write my feelings" down in. I don't know I might use it ones or twice i don't really care. It's whatever. I had an old journal that I used a lot but after what happened I kinda keep to myself now. This is my second journal. The first one was full. So this isn't my first time. Anyway, signing off this is Max.
-2:34pm

Monday,January 20th 2023 9:38pm
I have been feeling more depressed lately and I relapsed again. I just miss aiden, i wish he never committed. I get more depressed everyday, I cry every night just thinking about him. I miss him so much. So much.
-9:40pm

Wednesday, January 22th 2023 9:45pm
Ughhh I hate going to my brothers soccer games, they are so boring. At least I have my phone, I don't know what I would do without my phone, I never want to loose it.
-9:46pm.

10:23pm
So I forgot my phone at the soccer complex now my mom is so pissed at me. I called ahead and made sure someone had it in a safe place. Hey if only I liked my family, I'm sick of always getting called "emo" and  honestly wish everyone would just disappear.
-10:26

Thursday, January 23rd 2023 8:26am
I take back what I said about my family I don't know what I would do without them. I love them so much. I am scared the world is going to end. I've been reading on what to do if the world did end and we went into nuclear war but i suppose it's useless info. I also am in love with my new boyfriend. idk what I would do without him.
-8:30am

Friday, January 24th 2023 11:33am
Things are going... good, I like how things are going. My parents are signing me up for therapy and I am so excited to go. I have been going through a lot of mental trauma and the depression hasn't been helping anything. Especially since I'm not medicated. I am super tired all the time and I just want to die I have no motivation to do anything after watching my best friend and my boyfriend kill themselves, finding their bodies. Well I'm excited for therapy.
-11:35am

Saturday, January 25th 2023 3:30pm
Today is my first day of therapy! I am so excited. I'm going in with high expectations and I'm ready to get better.
-3:32pm

-5:05 pm (after therapy )
Well... basically she told me that I am mentally traumatized and that she is surprised I've just self harmed and not done something worse. I'm too young to be put on the strong medication that I need so that's a bummer, but I
Going to keep going.
-5:10pm

                                      3 days later