Those Ocean Eyes

Chapter 23

"Do you have any idea how much I hate you right now?"

Rachel collapses onto the sofa, hiding her face in her hands as she tries to recover from Kurt's unwelcome interruption. She can see that he's dying to ask her for all the gory (or should that be glorious?) details, and he's probably wondering how Finn would react if he knew what her extra-curricular activities entailed, but she's too worked up to feel embarrassed. Yes, she kissed a girl, and she liked it – no, actually, she loved it; it was even better than receiving a personalised autograph from Liza Minnelli. She can still feel the warmth of Cassandra's body heat radiating through the cushions; she can still smell the faint traces of Cassie's perfume lingering on her clothes, and it's a painful reminder of just how close they came to blurring the line between fantasy and reality. That feeling of euphoria is already proving to be addictive, and the only thing that's stopping Rachel from sprinting down the street and begging Cassie to finish what she started is the implicit knowledge that Cassie would rebuke her for being too clingy.

"This was supposed to be a rescue mission," Kurt reminds her, "I thought she was coming here to flay you alive, not to feel you up... although I guess I shouldn't be surprised, because you can practically smell the sexual tension when you two are in a room together."

Rachel just burrows under her comforter and groans, and Kurt cautiously sits down beside her.

"Look, I'm sorry, OK? But maybe if you'd told me that you had a little something-something going on with our oh-so-tempestuous dance teacher..."

Kurt sounds hurt, and Rachel regards him apologetically.

"There was nothing to tell," she demurs, because she doesn't want Kurt to think that she's been deliberately keeping him out of the loop.

Kurt eyes her incredulously.

"OK, that's not strictly true," Rachel concedes, "But this is the first time we've ever really..." She trails off, because she can't even bring herself to say the words without remembering how gratifying it felt to finally have Cassie's hands where she wanted them; satiating that ever-present pang of longing. "Besides, I wasn't sure if she... if she liked me in that way."

"Are you sure she even likes you at all?" Kurt ventures, but his delicate tone doesn't negate the bluntness of his question.

Rachel bites her lip, staring at her hands.

"What do you mean?" she asks, and Kurt must see the anxious look on her face, because his expression immediately softens.

"I mean, she doesn't exactly strike me as the relationship type. Are you sure she's not just trying to throw you off your game? Pull your focus away from the things that really matter?"

Rachel remembers the sound of Cassie reverently breathing her name; the way she capitulated to her demands; how she chose to console her instead of continuing with her barrage of criticism. She remembers the whisper of tenderness behind her teacher's commanding touch, and the look of unguarded affection on Cassie's face while she was looming over her. Cassie's a compelling actress, but Rachel can't bring herself to believe that it was all a lie; that Cassie's purposely setting out to destroy her.

"I'm sure," she says softly, and Kurt looks at her sceptically.

"Well, I guess I'll just have to take your word for it."

Rachel nods in agreement, and then she stretches out her legs, resting her feet on his lap.

"So... you and Crazy Cassie, huh?" Kurt observes, and his concern seems to have given way to amusement.

"Don't call her that," Rachel says sharply, and Kurt lets out a low whistle.

"Oh, honey, you've got it bad. She's really done a number on you, hasn't she?"