i will be the one [destiel]

who comes to rescue you

hi guys! this is just a short dean/cas one shot, I had the biggest urge to write one after seeing human cas being so fragile and hopeless. It's nothing special. Title is from Run by Jasmine Thompson :)

,,What if you were to find out that no one is listening?'' Now, Castiel wasn't someone you know for being depressed or as extraordinaly sad, per se. At least that's what Dean always thought so it did come to him as quite a surprise when he saw Castiel like this. To be honest Dean wasn't what you would call the icon of mental wellness either but he, if he said so himself, had it ,,under control''.

Never in his life had he seen the other man so devastatingly hopeless. His blue eyes, oh so very blue, looked at him filled with agony and Dean felt his heart shatter.

,,Cas what is going on? Are you okay?" Obvious worry laced his voice as he searched for eye contact with Castiel. ,,I don't know Dean. Does it look like I'm okay?" Every word out of Castiels mouth sounded heavy, like it exhausting for him to just speak. His tired eyes and the deep circles under his eyes spoke for themselves. Not knowing how to react to Castiels behavior Dean scrunched down and put his hand on the others shoulder attempting to get him to stand up.

,,Come on, let's go to my room, yeah? Nice and warm and fuzzy and then we can-" ,,No." ,,What do you mean No?" ,,It means I don't want to. Are you even listening to me?" ,,Seriously?" ,,Yes." ,,But it looks like you're just waiting." ,,You know what, maybe I am waiting." ,,You can do that somewhere else too." As their conversation carried on Dean started to get confused more and more. What the hell is this guy talking about?

,,You don't get it, do you?" Castiel didn't seem angry, hell he doesn't look like he has that much energy left anymore to get angry. ,,I don't know Dean. I don't know what I'm waiting for. Better days maybe? A reason to not put an end to my suffering? Or maybe even a way to fill the void inside of me. I haven't decided yet."

There are many thoughts flying around in Dean's head right now and he can't focus on a single one because what did he just hear? He may not be a knight in shining armour but he'll be damned if he won't give Castiel everything he needs in this moment. He really cares about that fucker, a whole lot more than he'd like to admit. Finally deciding what to do Dean seats himself as close as he can get to Castiel because fuck personal space and takes the others hands into his own. Puzzled Castiel looked at Dean but before he can open his mouth the other interrupts him.

,,You want to talk? I'm here. I'll listen to you. Every word." A small smile hushes over Castiels futures and he squeezes Deans hands before he takes a long breath to collect himself.

,,Do you know how many times I think about killing myself? And everytime I think to myself next time I'm really going to do it but then I wake up the next day. I wake up every single day and I don't get it. How do other people get up in the morning? How do you? I'm always so tired. I actually do kill myself everyday. Just a tiny bit until there's nothing left of the current me and the only thing there's left to do is create a new version of myself. But you know what the saddest thing is? I have still yet to find a version that I like. It seems that no matter how many times I change who I am I will never be happy because at the end of the day... you know who I always will be? I will always be me until the day I die and it's a nightmare. I feel stuck here and I can't move on. I wish I could be happy again because I am not sad, really, I haven't felt anything another than this emptiness for a long time. I'm exhausted, more than I ever was. Do you know how to fill this emptiness Dean. Do you? Because I fear that I can't take it much longer."

Castiel finished his monologue looking more tired than before but somehow the way he held himself up changed. If Dean was right his shoulders wasn't as slouched anymore? Regardless, that's not what matters right now, what matters is that Dean is here and he stays. Look, he's not a therapist or whatever and he has absolutely no idea what to say. But what he does know is that he has to be there for Castiel and that's what he does. Still holding his hand Dean somehow pulls the other towards him into a hug. ,,Hey, it's okay. It will be. I'm going to be honest with you, I don't know what to tell you. But there's one thing I can tell you for sure. It's going to be okay because I'm here. With you. You're not alone, you don't have to be. We will figure this out together and you can get through this. You and me." These were the most comforting words he could offer and he hoped they would be enough. He hoped that Castiel listened to him.

Silence stretched itself longer and longer over them and Dean started to get nervous. Did he say something wrong? Did he fail? This is stupid he can't handle- ,,Thank you Dean." He felt a pair of lips on his left cheek and soon after a chaste kiss on his own ones. Castiel looked at him with his usual stern expression but Dean couldn't feel more relieved. ,,Come on Huggybear. Let's get you all cleaned up and fresh, yeah?'' Castiel nodded and stood up with Dean still hanging by his side. Dean radiated a warmth that Castiel is more than thankful for. It's comfortable, familiar. It's home, Dean is home.

And while they took a shower, exchanging kisses and sweet whispered nothings Castiel thinks to himself that maybe everything will be okay.

Not tomorrow, not next week but someday and he doesn't mind one bit because after everything, Dean is here. He listened and sometimes that's more than enough.