Requiem - Michaeng [ENG]

Heredity

You know when you're faced with something so intense and unexpected that it takes you a while to process the situation and you only realize it hours later? That was my night. It only dawned on me this morning when I woke up from a short nap I managed to take.

The images of Chaeyoung in a terrified state haunted me more than the situation itself, the feeling of guilt squeezed my heart, chilled my body and blocked my throat like the worst diseases. Just knowing that I was responsible for all that was enough for my self-retaliation.

Why did you bring up that subject, Mina? Why did you have to insist? Why were you so stupid not to notice sooner? The fact that she couldn't see didn't stop her from noticing my actions and making her feel judged at that moment. But I didn't mean it, in fact it was the opposite.

I felt responsible for taking care of her and in a way I blamed myself and adopted what was once her suffering. I was condemning myself for not having met her before, for no one helping her, or for having gotten this far, even though I didn't even know what started it.

But why? Why was I taking all that blame? She was just another girl. Why was I attached to her in such a way? A thousand questions terrified me that night and sleep was the least of my worries.

Momo had officially welcomed me into her home and was now sleeping beside me. I could wake her up at any time if I felt it necessary, I know she would be the best friend in the world, she would listen and advise me, but I didn't. I preferred to think about my problems myself.

The sun was peeking over the horizon when I decided to go for a walk. I dressed in comfortable but presentable clothes, since I had to meet my father later, and made my way through the streets of New York. It's not a lie when they say that this is the city that never sleeps, it must have been a little after five in the morning and a crowd of cars was already occupying the lanes.

When I realized it, I was in one of the subway cars looking for the best place to sit. At that time, some people were already occupying many seats there, all ready for another day of tireless routines, wearing determination in their eyes. I found an empty space in the corner, next to the wall, and there I lodged.

It didn't take long for me to enter a trance state, my eyes remained fixed on the floor in front of me as my mind jumped from thought to thought, all involving Chaeyoung. Is she okay? Would it be weird if I went to meet her? My heart raced with my own responses to each question. The funny thing was that I allowed myself to give a thumbs up and a thumbs down and I was distressed not knowing which one to believe more. Maybe that was my way of punishing myself, I knew that one of those voices was my conscience, but I couldn't distinguish which one.

After a few many hours traveling all over the city, without even realizing it, I had reached my conclusion and now I was sitting in my father's huge office waiting for him. I wanted to get this over with, everything there screamed superiority and I couldn't be less disgusted.

- Good morning, Mina - I heard his voice coming from the door behind me and I turned my face slightly, enough to catch him out of the corner of my eye.

- Good Morning. - I groaned humorlessly.

- So Akira, it will be up to you to define the new requests for finance, there is something weird with the company's expenses.

I heard another familiar voice and ended up turning on my heels to see Dongwoon already taking his leave. The two finished what they were talking about and then he seemed to notice me.

- Hi Mina! - His greeting was so genuine that it made me smile - Did you come to take care of business too? I think your dad might need some help.

- Absolutely not, with all due respect. This business management thing is not for me.