A Snapshot of Dixie

42: Hear me Roar

DIXIE

"Welcome home, you guys!" I smile, as Callie Rose throws her arms around me.

Arriving back in Birmingham an hour ago, I find myself wishing I could turn around and go back.
When we left for California, for the first time in over a week I felt something other than the hole that's been carved into my chest. Excitement flourished around me because I was traveling somewhere I had never been. No memories suffocated me around every corner. Being back here again the wound stirs because everything reminds me of him, of what I lost.

Mustering up a smile as Callie hands me a small bouquet of daisies, I pull her close and speak softly, "Thank you for being such a great friend. I know I haven't been the best one lately but just know how much I appreciate you."

Callie Rose squeezes me tightly and pulls us apart by my shoulders. "Don't be silly. You were there for me every day when my mom passed away, Dixie Mae." Her hand brushes my cheek and my emotions threaten to spill. "If anyone understands the need to lash out at everyone it's me. I know it's nothing you haven't heard before but you'll get through this. Just know the pain will never disappear and that's okay. I don't think it's meant to because it makes their presence in our life real."

"Thanks, Callie. I love you."

"I love you too, girl."

Squeezing her one last time, I walk inside Tucker's house and stop at the door, glancing around.

"Is something wrong? Are you feeling sick again?" Tucker asks as he sets our bags down. Callie shuts the door behind me.

It's been an unreal last few days. From being in the most beautiful place to learning our mess with Tucker's father is over. It's been hard to process everything but I feel confident in moving forward. Knowing I'm carrying a life that Tucker and I created—Nothing else matters except making sure our baby is healthy.

"No...It's just–this place looks awful. Did it always look this way?" I ask. Tucker chuckles and takes my hand, leading me into the living area.

"I know it's a dump, but I did plan on tearing it down and rebuilding. I'm not sure there's much to salvage but it depends on a few things."

"Oh? Like what?"

Tucker blankely stares at me for a few moments. "I guess I didn't know if you wanted to stay here or if you were going to take over your father's farm or..."

His worries force me to interrupt him. I realize the topic is something I tried hard not to think about. "Oh no. There's no way I can run an entire cotton farm, Tucker! My uncles and cousins have things handled and I..." Callie Rose hands Tucker an envelope as my words stop mid-sentence.

He turns around and hands it to me, hope laced in his eyes.

"What's this?"

"Callie Rose found it under my rug when she stopped by to feed the fireplace while we were away. I think you should read it before you make any decisions. I'll be in the kitchen if you need me." Tucker kisses my forehead and he and Callie disappear into the kitchen.

Gazing down at the white envelope, I fall back into the stiff couch, recognizing the handwriting on the outside.

Tears roll down my cheeks, dreading reading what's inside. Closing my eyes, I fight back the tears and take a deep breath before opening the envelope.

My dearest Peaches,

If you're reading this that means I'm no longer here and for that, I'm sorry to leave you so soon. This letter was something I didn't want to write but a few years back, I was diagnosed with coronary artery disease and figured I should explain. It's something my father and grandfather carried, so it didn't come off as too much of a shock. Your mother was aware and I asked her to keep it a secret until I was ready to tell you.