Requiem - Michaeng [ENG]

Rediscovering

About yesterday I only have one thing to say: Confuse. Since I woke up today, I've had my mind busy with these thoughts, it was strange to recap it all and not be sure what it was about for me. I won't lie saying that I didn't like it, quite the opposite, the fact that it was unexpected and happened the way it did, moved me in a way that I gathered strength to suppress. But on the other hand there was a hint of doubt, a trace of uncertainty hovering around me insistently asking if I should create expectations.

Chaeyoung is an amazing girl and sometimes I had unusual thoughts towards her, but the big question is whether she would have the same thoughts towards me. Even with everything that had happened I still refused to admit that she liked girls or even both because it just didn't fit her profile. Her innocence made everything seem like a mistake, an experiment, like when a child does something wrong, but you don't punish them because they're still ignorant of it.

Chaeyoung was a huge enigma to me, at times she came across completely as a woman and at other times as a total child in terms of her inexperience with life.

As much as I enjoyed the intimate moment we shared, I was pretty sure that was just that. A moment. I was in the wrong place, at the wrong time, with the wrong person. Maybe if it wasn't me it could have been anyone else and that's what killed me, this giant uncertainty that I had never experienced before. My relationships were easier than that, we were into it and that was it. There wasn't much to think about, not many questions to answer. It was something real and almost as solid as stone, I could see it was there and I could also see it when it broke.

However, it's not like that with Chaeyoung, it was all like a big blur, like a mass of toxic gas that suffocated me every second I held myself there and, even though it was different and painful, I stayed there. What impressed me the most is that in a few days it took on such proportions within me and she remained as impassive as she could.

Sometimes I wondered if she was sly in any way, if she had any sense of how she acted because she liked having others desire her in a certain way. But then came the innocence and the simple fact that she didn't have that many friends to throw my theory to the ground.

Today I would certainly see her again, the agreement with my father involved my return to Juilliard and here I was, in the office, waiting for my moment to be called by the principal to find out once and for all if I would return or not.

- Mina? - I disconnected from thoughts about Chaeyoung for a moment and turned back to the front.

- Miss Young? - I asked already stating with a huge smile on my face and standing up to greet her.

- You changed a lot, you are more radiant. - she said as she ran her hands over my face and down through my locks. My face flushed sharply at the unexpected compliment. - So beautiful, the hair has grown and the skin is less pale - we laugh. As if it were possible for me to get out of the white I was given at birth - You also have a different glow, especially in those pretty eyes.

- Are you insinuating that I'm pregnant? - I raised an eyebrow causing her to burst out laughing.

- You have the features of one, actually - I widened my eyes already preparing to debate. - But I hope you're not.

- I'm not going to make you an aunt so soon after that.

- I don't care, I'm in the prime of life to worry about godchildren yet. - She was still the same as always, one more person who proved to know me for my true self, even when I hid it from everyone.

Miss Young was one of the professors at the college and was known to be quite grim and serious. When I walked in here, I remember hearing the rumors and I couldn't wait to beat myself up with her in the classroom so I could face the beast and see what happened. We started off on the wrong foot, the first day I tried to do a great job of myself and get in trouble with the old lady, I remember discussing my vocal ability when she called me up to do the voice tests and told me that I was sloppy.