venture • lrh

ten

SECRETS BETWEEN FRIENDSHIPS

*

It's four am, and Alexis has woken up thrice. Twice because there was an attempt to throw up, and the third time she threw up. She felt hazy; she couldn't remember the shit of last night. The third time she ran to the toilet, Ashton also woke up from the sounds she made. 

A way to wake up.

He held her hair back, rubbed her back, and soothed her with soft words. Ashton never really has hangovers. Somehow he is God's favorite. Yet, what they both had in common was their lack of memory from the night before. Ashton kept on telling himself that if it were interesting enough, he'd remember it, and Alex held onto that thought. 

For fucks sake, they don't even remember getting home. 

"Feeling better?" Ashton decides to ask her. She nods slightly, but the nausea remains to get stronger with seconds as if she's going to-

...Throw up again. 

"So much for feeling better," Ashton mumbles quietly, holding her hair as he rubs over her back. He was never really disgusted by it; he usually takes care of the guys on the team. He's the mom of the group. Since he's studying sports, he wants to become a sports doctor, but still play on the team. He's right there, mainly in case something 'medical' has to happen. After he's graduated, he can start. Ashton got told to get into the sports program first. That way, he would also learn about physical therapy and how to loosen up the muscles. The knowledge is great to have, but after all, it appeared to be bullshit. He could have just gone in the medical direction right away. 

So yeah, things like these don't scare him away. Something inside him wants to help the other person until they feel better again. It's not like he has any control over it, but he'll do whatever he can do. 

"My head is having its dance party." Alexis groans, her eyes almost shutting as to how tired she is. Ashton lets go of her, grabs a washcloth to make it wet, and gently wipes it over her face. Her face is sweaty and pale, but who expects to be looking like a goddess while feeling this shitty? 

"Let's get you to bed, Alex." She reaches out her arms as she looks up at the curly-haired guy. He can't help but chuckle at the sight. She looks too adorable. He lifts her up gently, afraid she might throw up again or maybe he hurts her by holding on too tight. When she finally stands on her feet, he places his hand on her hip to steady her, with her arm wrapped around his shoulders.

Finally arriving at her bed, she lays down and crawls into the blankets. Almost as if nothing has happened. She closes her eyes, and Ashton walks out of the room, only to walk back in later with a bucket, painkillers, and a glass of water. 

With a self-satisfied smile, Ashton walks back to his own room and lies in his bed, now wide awake. 

Maybe that's the thing about him. It's somehow the adrenaline that comes along with it when helping people, he feels like he's the hero, and so he appears to be. But after that is over, he feels empty, as if everything that happened before hasn't happened. Sometimes he thinks that it's just inside his head that feels so empty. Everything feels empty when he isn't doing anything but everything simultaneously. 

He thinks about the whole situation, reflecting on how he handled it. You can't always expect a hundred percent chance of success, but he aims for it and will be disappointed when he doesn't reach his own expectation. 

The guy is actually broken, but he will never admit that. 

Nobody will know when he puts up a smile and acts along like other people.