a letter to B

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well, this is the first thing i will ever post on here- here goes nothing. this is basically going to be a series of love letters to the person i've been simping for for the past few months.

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you can't blame me for thinking about you. i mean, just look at you. you have the eyes of a honey-coated teacup of lemon green tea (just one lump of sugar, that's what you'd like). your heart is something out of a storybook. you make me feel like fireworks are exploding out of my chest, like the sky could come crashing down at any moment and i'd have you to hold onto; you make me feel like i would be safe, no matter where i am or where i go.

when was the last time you thought about me? was it after i typed out 14 reasons why i like you for the 14th day of february? or was it before you went to sleep? rest that pretty little head of yours. i know you get headaches and i'm sorry i can't do more to help. you are miles away, across the country, and i want nothing more than to see you on my birthday. you have the ability to make me feel safe and cared for and as if light itself was bubbling up in my heart. your words hold a power over me that no one else ever has.

the most unbelievable part of it all is how easily i would drop everything for you. i would fly out to see you at the drop of a hat if i had the money to do so. that's not even how deep my love for you goes. (shit- did i just say love? ... you know what, fuck it, yeah. i love you.) if i had the chance to feel your hands intertwined with mine, i feel like everything would be okay. whenever i think about you or talk about you, it's as if nothing could hurt me. i know you would never intentionally hurt me and i know you don't want to leave. (at least i hope you don't want to leave. you won't leave, will you? fuck, my abandonment issues are showing. sorry)

i want to give you everything. that's just what you deserve. i wish i could take all your pain and turn it into butterflies or simply make it my own. i would take all the bullets in the world if that meant you'd be safe. i just want you to be safe. love, that's a strong word. i've never used it lightly, especially when i tell someone i love them. but what the hell, i can't keep it to myself anymore. i can't just pretend i don't feel like this whenever i talk to you.

i love you. more than you'll ever realize and more than you'll ever be able to comprehend. i love every part of you- from your eyes to the way your eyes crinkle when you smile, down to your cute little nose. i fucking love you and your nose. i love the way you make me feel and how i smile at your name in my phone. i love how i've never felt like i needed to pretend with you. i love how i know i can tell you anything and you'll listen and find time to respond later if you're busy in the moment. i love you so much. you truly could never know or understand just how deeply my love for you goes.

[redacted name], you are the absolute light of my life. you bring so much brightness back to my eyes. you somehow found a way to take all my insecurities and dissolve them with compliments. i've never met anyone who could do that before. you are the first person i've ever met to make me worry this much. i don't get why i care this much but i really do. you bring out a side of me i thought i'd lost. you make me feel whole and safe and complete and there are not enough words in the dictionary to describe how absofuckinglutely enormously in love i am with you.

i hope that fire never fizzles out. you are the only one i want to keep my heart aflame. you are the only one i wholeheartedly and truly trust with the entirety of my heart, soul, and body. i love you all the way to the moon, beyond the stars, to the edge of the ever-expanding universe, and all the way back to where you stand. i will love you until all my love gives out and until the end of time itself finally reaches its peak.

you make my heart crazy happy and it was always meant to love yours.

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⏰ Last updated: Feb 03, 2023 ⏰

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