Bang bang || Agent Whiskey -DISCONTINUED

02

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BANG BANG
Tied up

"A bottle in a secret wall. You really expect us to take that seriously?" Agent Brandy interrogated the intruders. Both British men were awake now and strapped to seats with zip ties.

"See, I think your story is horse shit." Agent Tequila brought the attention to him. "Y'all just trying to cover for a failed rescue mission."

"You here for the lepidopterist, ain't you?" Brandy crossed her arms, pushing her hat up a bit. The two men looked at each other, then looked back to the southerners.

"Okay, so your mystery bottle, huh?" Tequila walked towards a table containing a bottle of whiskey. "Look anything like that, right there?"

"Yes. Same brand, much older." The man with dark hair spoke, confirming Tequila's statement.

"Let's see here." Tequila sniffed the bottle, tossing the cap and walking towards the seated men.

"You know why the measurement of alcohol content's called 'proof'?" Brandy stayed behind, leaning against the table. After her statement, Tequila poured the contents of the whiskey bottle onto the British man.

"Oh, fuck off!"

Followed shortly by the Scottish man.

"Oh, for Pete's sake."

"See, comes from back in the old days," Brandy began. "When pirates wanted to test the strength of their rum. They used to pour a little bit out on gunpowder."

Next to her, Tequila took a sit of the whiskey. "That'll make you wanna slap your mama right there, boy."

"And if the gunpowder, if it burnt when they set it alight, they considered it proof," Tequila looted more whiskey onto the British men. "That their rum was good and strong. But see we ain't got no gunpowder on us, do we?" Brandy looked at Tequila, earning a shake of the head in agreement. "But I'm pretty sure you'll boys make just as impressive of a sound, when I set your balls on fire." She threatened, flicking out a lighter. "Or you could just tell us who the fuck y'all really are, and how the hell y'all found us."

"Look, for the last time we have nothing to protect but our honour." The Scottish man began. "So you can game your cheap horse piss that you call whiskey which, by the way, is spelled without an 'e', and is nothing compared to a single malt scotch, and you can go fuck your self. He finished, making his shorter friend laugh.

Brandy walked forwards, flame still burning, "What about you?" She nodded towards the British man.

"Me?"

"Yeah."

"No, I love a jack and coke, bruv." At the British slang he used made Brandy furrow her brows. "But I do agree with the part where you go fuck yourself."

Closing the lighter Tequila spoke from the table, "Alright. Y'all ain't got nothing to protect other than your honour." Walking towards a switch on the wall. "Let's see what happens when we change things up."

With a flick of the switch, it revealed a man wearing an eyepatch, shaving his beard. This got a reaction out of the two men in front of them.

"Y'all got three seconds to tell us the truth." Brandy pulled her gun out and pointed it towards their friend.

"No!"
"Harry!"

Both of them shouted, "He can't hear you. But we can, so talk." Brandy ordered. They continued shouting at 'Harry'. "That's two." Brandy warned, not scared to shed blood. They continued. "Three."

Just as Brandy was about to shoot, a female voice echoed, "Stop!" Ginger had came in, passing an umbrella to Tequila. "Their story checked out." She started patting them down with a towel. "I opened our doomsday scenario locker, and that umbrella was in it." Both Brandy and Tequila looked at the branding of the umbrella. "Kingsman. It's got our logo on it." Ginger apologised to the men that were tied up. Not long after Tequila and Brandy apologised as well.

"I hope there ain't no hard feelings." Brandy laughed. "Me and Tequila were just doing out jobs."

Noticing the gobsmacked looks on the men's face Tequila welcomed them. "Welcome to the Statesman, independent intelligence agency. Just like y'all, I reckon. But our founders went into the booze business."

"Thank the sweet Lord above." Brandy muttered. "This is Ginger Ale." Pointing towards Ginger, "She's our strategy executive. I'm Agent Brandy, and this is my co worker, Agent Tequila."

"This is the part where you untie us." The British man interrupted.

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