BARBIE GIRL, eric matthews

vi. comfort crowd

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chapter six: comfort crowd
( pre episode six )
[ trigger warning for heavy themes of sh and ed<3 ]
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Ruby sat solemnly on her bed, no one had seen her for days, which in turn worried everyone that cared about her. She had been locked in her room for the past thirty-six hours and the only proof of life was that her records continuously changed out throughout the day.

Only sad music emitted from the once always bubbly girl, the depressing tunes of Nirvana, Bonnie Tyler, and Tears for Fears were constantly on repeat as she cried into her pillow.

Only twenty-four hours earlier, Ruby went through a complete whirlwind of emotions and tried to drop a hair dryer into her bathtub. Thankfully she was unsuccessful in this activity due to the cord being several inches too short.

She had enough, everything was getting to her more and more. Girls at school picking on her, her tendency to compare herself to every model in every magazine, and every bit of childhood trauma came flooding back all at once and she couldn't take it.

Everyone has those days, days when they get so manic that it becomes difficult to distinguish real from fake, right for wrong, and rational from irrational. Where everything just seems to come crashing down and we're left wondering why life can't just be good to us.

Some people choose to ignore it. Some people choose to cope in healthy ways such as journalling or venting. And then some people get through it in much more unhealthy ways, through hurting themselves or deciding that it all had to end for them to be happy.

Ruby often chose the third option, typically believing that it was her only choice and that she didn't have someone to turn to when she felt this way. She certainly couldn't put her burdens onto the shoulders of her sweet Eric, and the guilt would eat her up inside if she ever let Shawn know that she was hurting.

She was supposed to be strong, and here she was, sitting on the tiled floor against the cold wall of her bathroom, wearing nothing but black shorts and one of Eric's old tee-shirts. Her mascara was smeared down her face dramatically and her hair was down in it's naturally curly and frizzy state.

She looked like a shell of the woman she used to be, and this time she didn't know if she could come back from it. Call her weak, useless, or pityful, but she simply felt as if she just couldn't take it anymore. Everything began to overwhelm her and she needed a break.

Eric on the other hand was also a wreck.

He and Ruby had never gone more than twenty-four hours without talking and the fact that it had almost been twice that since he's heard from her was terrifying. He knew that she had more issues than she let on, and while he didn't know the extent of it all, it worried him immensely.