"why can't you see me? why can't i stop needing you to see me?"- Chen Chen
Stella has never been seen that is until Mason walked into her life.
Tw: self harm, suicide attempt
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Chapter 2: "He was a thunder storm, and people warned me not to play with him. But I had always loved the rain"
Stella's pov
Mason.
He took my breath away and whenever I would look into his eyes it felt like he knew me. Which is crazy because I don't even know him and I don't think I want too.
"Hi" he says so quietly, i look at him with my jaw hanging, he never talks to people besides his best friends, "hey" I responded quietly like him, his blue sea eyes never leaving my dull brown eyes he sighs and continues
"I just wanted to apologize for earlier, I should've never called you a dumbass. I know it's not an excuse but I was having a bad morning" he says a unknown emotion in his eyes, I'm shocked he apologized
Mason Clarkson apologizing to me? Out of all people
"Oh, it's okay, i understand" i say giving him a smile and turning around to focus on the lesson, from the corner of my eye i see him nod and turn to the front as well
His knee is still so close to mine
It's driving me crazy
I move it
The rest of class goes by fast and so does the last class of the day, i sigh.
I'm not ready to go home, I'm not ready to face my mother, I dread having to go home.
Mom is always drinking when she's out of work, i stay inside of my room and only go out when she's in her room or at work I try to stay out of her away, afraid that she'll get into her moods and hit me
I go to the parking lot and see Evelyn next to my car, i smile as I reach her "hey eve" she smiles back "your always smiling" she says to me as she hugs me, i hug her back "I can't help it"
"Moving on, do you want to spend the night at my house?" I wish I could "I don't think I can, I have to make sure mom is okay" I replied, she gives a sad look "okay please be careful, if she does anything call me right away" i nod and we go our separate ways.
I start my car and pull out of the parking lot, for some reason I can't seem to get Mason out of my mind. Wondering why he apologized, he has a reputation of being ruthless and scary but if you ask me I think that's just a mask he uses to hide himself, his true self.
I want to befriend him, I think he needs friends I mean he already has some but you can never have enough right?
Once I get to my house, I stay in my car for a minute, I lay my head on the steering wheel
It's going to be okay, I'll be okay
I get out and slowly close my car door I walk up to my door, i take a deep breath and open it slowly, i look around and wait before going in
"Mom" i shout out, silence answers back, i let out a breath and run to my room while closing the front door.
I open my door and lock it
To Eve<3: She's not home!
I text eve letting her know I'm okay, and turn off my phone setting it on my side table and change into sweats and a hoodie
For the rest of the day I do my homework while listening to Taylor swift's new album.
At some point I don't realize I fell asleep until a big bang wakes me up at 12:00am
Oh no
I get up and rush down the hall, i see my mom standing in front of the door moving a little to the side
I rush to her holding her up to make sure she doesn't fall
I remove her jacket and take her keys putting it on the table
"What are you doing stupid bitch" mom says slurring her words
She's drunk
She moves to me, i try to get away but i hit the wall
She drags me by the hair, i scream "mom let me go" I beg crying, she grabs harder slapping me in the face "stop crying stupid little girl, your just wasting space" she says "you ruined my life" she continues as i cry laying on the floor, she kicks me in the stomach
I cry out, "mom please I'm sorry I never meant to-" she doesn't let me finish
I just want it to stop, I want everything to stop
After a while she got bored and left, i got up and went to my room locking my door i lay in my bed and cry myself to sleep
Why can't everything just stop, I'm so tired.
Not just physically but mentally too
Maybe mom is right, it is my fault. Everything is always my fault. I get up and grab a old family photo "I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry I let you guys down" i whisper crying.
I feel a heavy ness in my eyes and I close them falling asleep
