Only You (YeonGyu)

Chapter 5: Irresolution

Sometimes, even the most serious people could be captivated by someone who stirred something inexplicable within them. For Beomgyu, that feeling wasn’t alarming—it wasn’t bad—it was simply strange. Like falling into a dream, one where time had paused. A dream he didn’t want to wake up from.

In that very moment, it felt as though the world had slowed down. His vision tunneled in on only one person: Sir Yeonjun.

He couldn’t hear anything—not the rustle of pages, the murmurs of classmates, or even the low cadence of a lesson. All of it blurred into background noise. All he saw was Yeonjun—the movement of his lips as he spoke, the flutter of his lashes, the fluid grace in the way his hands gestured mid-sentence. There was something about him, a presence that felt both gentle and overwhelming. It made Beomgyu feel light, almost airborne.

He didn’t know what it meant, didn’t understand the calm it brought him just to watch from afar. His heart told him to smile, to let the feeling melt through him, but his body stayed still, expression unreadable. He didn’t know if he was fascinated, infatuated, or simply star-struck. But it was enough to send him floating.

He remained in that trance until the class ended. Time had moved without him realizing. Only when Huening Kai nudged his arm did Beomgyu blink out of the haze.

“Hey, are you okay? You’ve been zoning out for a whole hour. Sir Yeonjun just wrapped up the lesson—we should go.”

Kai’s voice was clear, but Beomgyu’s gaze was still glued to Yeonjun. He watched as the teacher packed up his things and reminded the class not to forget the assignment due next week. Assignment? Beomgyu hadn’t even noticed he’d given one. He cursed silently at himself for losing focus.

Then—just for a moment—Yeonjun glanced at him and offered a slight, knowing smile.

Beomgyu’s face flushed. He quickly turned his head away, his heart stuttering in his chest. Shame and warmth tangled within him. What is wrong with me? he thought. Even Kai was giving him a weird look, but he ignored it. Honestly, even he didn’t understand himself.

"What's wrong with you? You look like a tomato," Kai teased, leaning in. "Are you sure you're okay, Beomgyu-sshi?"

Beomgyu shook his head to snap himself out of it. He didn’t reply. Together, they left the classroom and began heading toward the school gates.

As expected, Kai started talking again, full of energy. This time, he was gushing about Sir Yeonjun—and also Sir Soobin.

“Sir Yeonjun is so hot, right? I’ve never seen someone like him. And the way he teaches? Dreamy. But you know, I still think I like Sir Soobin more. He’s got this calm prince vibe, don’t you think? I don’t know why, but he just clicks with me more.”

Beomgyu walked in silence, still feeling detached from himself. He knew something was wrong—he didn’t feel like his usual self. And that frustrated him.

“You’ve been out of it since the Literature class started,” Kai pointed out. “Are you really okay, Beomgyu-sshi?”

“Mmmhh~ I’m fine,” Beomgyu mumbled. “Anyway, I should head home.”

“Huh? Already?” Kai pouted. “Why don’t we stop by a café or something? Let’s eat something sweet!”

He clung to Beomgyu’s arm, giving him those irresistible puppy eyes. It was hard to say no. Deep down, Beomgyu appreciated the gesture. But the truth was... he was scared. Kai was still a stranger, someone he couldn’t fully trust yet. What if he turned out like the others?

“I’m sorry. I have important things to do. Maybe next time,” Beomgyu replied, gently pulling away.

“Oh… I see.”

Kai’s voice dropped, and he let go of Beomgyu’s arm, disappointment written all over his face. The sight made guilt rise in Beomgyu’s chest, but he had no choice. He had to protect himself.

He muttered, “I’ll get going, then,” and walked away without looking back.

Kai’s soft “Okay. B-Bye…” faded into the distance.

Beomgyu didn’t stop. His mind told him he was making the right choice, while his heart cracked under the weight of guilt. But this was his plan. He had to keep his distance, close his doors, and never let anyone in. No matter how much he wanted someone by his side, the pain of betrayal and abandonment from the past was enough to remind him why he shouldn’t try again.

He believed he was destined to be alone. He’d grown used to it. And even if someone did come into his life—someone warm, or kind—what guarantee was there that they would stay? Who could ever truly accept him? Who could carry his pain the way he did?

He didn’t think anyone could.

Eventually, he reached his house. The door creaked open into emptiness, the kind that reeked of loneliness. His parents weren’t home yet, as usual. Probably not until dinner.

He walked to his room and collapsed onto his bed, utterly drained. His mind was fried, his heart sore. He wanted to sleep, but he also remembered all the things he still had to do—cleaning, cooking, grocery shopping. His parents had already messaged him. The weight of responsibility crushed his shoulders, but he had no energy left. Not today.

I’ll rest just for a bit, he told himself.

As he closed his eyes, Sir Yeonjun’s smile flickered in his mind like a warm light in a cold, dark room. That aura, that elegance—it was unlike anything he’d ever seen before. Even in the quiet of his room, Beomgyu’s lips curled slightly.

And with that faint smile, he drifted off to sleep.