last words of a shooting star

chapter 5

TW: sh

Dazai was in his house when he heard a loud bang on the door, when he opened it a hand starting choking him and putting pressure on his neck while he was struggling to breath. The man shut the door and pinned the other on the wall "c-chuuya" he couldn't breath properly or even talk "you bastard! How dare you!" but at that moment chuuya started coughing blood and he had to let go of the bruenette.

He took a second to breath but before he could talk again he took a punch in the stomach making him fall on his knees "trick me? You thought you could trick me?! I know you too well osamu! I knew you had set up a trap and the black lizard came to help me, all the organazination's members are dead! You failed!" he said and kicked him.

The bandaged man started coughing blood "oh Mr nakahara is a genuis" he said but chuuya didnt stop beating him up, he was on the ground and chuuya was looking down on him with pity "you really think I'm done? I can just finish you off right now" "you won't" "and what makes you think that?" He said and took a gun from the inside pocket of his coat and pointed on dazai's head "im gonna blow your brains out you suicidal maniac!".

Dazai chuckled "oh really? Do it" chuuya was ready to pull the trigger but he stopped "whats stopping you chuuya? Maybe that fact that you liked our make out session yesterday?" suddenly the ginger's arm started bleeding and the red liquid fell on dazai's carpet, dazai looked at it in horror "why is your arm bleeding" "fuck off" he said and gave him a last kick "I better not see you at my doorstep again osamu, you better think again before trying to trick me or betray me".

When chuuya arrived to his house he fastly took off his shirt and took his pocket knife from his jeans "just one more, it's fine, this is fine" he said and did another small cut on the ones that were already bleeding "just one more" he said and did one a little bit lower than the others "one more" he said and did another ten ones. Damage. He wanted to damage himself, to punish himself, he let himself get tricked by dazai again, he was a fool. And he was also a monster, he deserved to die and get hurt and no one could stop him, even if the bruenette tried to he couldn't stop him. He should have jumped when he could, it was time, now he was to suffer till he can't move. Again and again everyday. Just one more and his whole arm was full of cuts. He just watched the crimson liquid fall to the cold bathroom floor. He was in pain but he thought he deserved it. He didn't have the stamina to clean it so he just took some bandages and wrapped it up so it would stop bleeding a little bit. He wanted more. He wanted to suffer more he needed it. He took off his pants and started cutting his thigh, he had to make sure his whole body was filled with bruises. Blood. That red liquid made him go feral.

He bandaged up all his cuts and rested on the couch while watching some TV and eating ramen, he didn't have the energy to cook. Suddenly he felt a tear running down his cheeks. Tears. Pain. Sadness. Was he really capable of that? I mean he wasn't human right? Or was he? Were they fake tears? The only thing he knew was that he was crying. He usually never cries but his whole body was aching, his skin was burning him like hell. An angel, the devil had gotten him. He was eating him up instead and destroying him.

He fell asleep on the couch and he woke up the next day to the bruenette running his hands on his messy hair and looking at him mesmerised, as chuuya saw him he kicked him off the couch "what the fuck how did you get in?!" chuuya was only wearing his boxers and a t-shirt since the weather was hot so his bloody bandages were visible "the question is why you have bandages full of blood on your thighs and arm" "none your fucking bussiness! How did you get in?!" "extra keys".

Dazai reached for chuuya's thigh and touched it gently, chuuya bit his lip in pain "get your hand off me" "does it hurt?" he said and slightly put some pressure "fuck get off!" "So it does hurt, what did you do?" "Could you get your hand off dazai?!" he said and pushed his hand away "What did you do chuuya" chuuya got up and took the extra pair of keys dazai had on his coat "now you can't come again" dazai got up too and grabbed the ginger from his arm causing him pain and he swallowed it away. "Did you cut yourself?" "No" "you sure?"

Chuuya was silent. He wasn't a weakling that dazai had to take care of, he was arahabaki, a monster, a non human machine, he shouldn't be weak or feel pain "get out dazai" "you did" "I said get out!" "Will you let me clean them?" "Why should I!?" "I always take care of your corruption scars even if we don't talk about it at all, and you clearly can't face your cuts, you're scared of yourself right now aren't you?" chuuya sighed and sat on the couch "hurry up!".

The bruenette took some medicine and clean bandages from the bathroom and made chuuya sit on his thighs so it could be easier to clean them, chuuya was wailing in pain while dazai was looking at it in horror. Why. Why had chuuya done that to himself? In total they were about twenty five cuts. He didn't say a thing and just took care of chuuya, it was his fault, he didn't wanna use him, he had to, it wasn't his fault he was a heartless human. No, he wasn't human either.

After cleaning all of his scars he sat with chuuya in silence, he twirled the ginger's hair with his finger, chuuya was calm. He was silent but calm, he wasn't panicking or yelling or being in pain. He had accepted his fate.

Him and dazai were one.