"Let's break up"
The words violently waved into him like he did not understand her language. Kwon Jiyong, who used to be full of love and happiness, was now enveloped in panic and fear. He can't believe his longtime girlfriend, whom he spent more than three years with, was now breaking up with him. He stood there, frozen, waiting for more words to come out from her mouth.
"I-I think it's about time we grow up without each other. It was real.." Dara shook her head while recalling the good times they had together. She bit her lip to prevent herself from crying. She had to explain everything to him. She wanted this, she thought. "What we had, it was real. But we both can't deny the fact that we have grown out of love. We were happy, the hell we were, so much. But Jiyong, we can't tie ourselves like this if everytime we see each other, we end up fighting. Everytime we see each other, our frustrations take on the better of us. We have to give each other space. If at the end it really will be us, then it will be. But for now..." she did not even try to stifle her cries back anymore.
"Let's let each other go" she was now crying, her shoulders shaking along with her hands. Shit, it hurts, she thought. She hung her head low, allowing her auburn locks to cover her pretty and now tear stricken face. The tears in her eyes just won't stop falling. She was devastated with her decision but there's no turning back now. She had said it.
"Baby, don't do this, please. We're just tired. God, I love you. I love you so much. No baby, please don't" his voice was pleading, half-whispering as he prevented his self from screaming. He strode towards her, trapping her in his arms, he inhaled her familiar scent. He kissed her forehead before totally wrapping her in his strong build. He was still hoping he can change her mind.
Dara almost lost her balance at his grip. Even after hearing her words, he was still caring, protective. He still took her in his arms and held her like she was the most fragile this in this world. If this was any other time, she would tiptoe and kiss him just like what she does whenever she's angry at him and he asks to be forgiven. But unfortunately for both of them, this is not an 'ordinary time'. This was real. And she has to deal with it or both of them will end up hanging.
"No, Ji." She backed away and wiggled free from his embrace, missing him already even after just seconds of losing the impact.
"We have to do this. I love you so much, too. You know that. I love you but the fact that we are changing everyday is not a very good sign. We shout at each other when we're angry. We don't even understand each other anymore. We can't just watch as our frustrations eat us up." She calmly explained. Her tears dried on her face and she was about to roll up another round of waterworks.
Jiyong shook his head in disbelief. She loves him so much? Then why the break up? He was so lost.
"If you love me so much, then, why can't we talk about it? Settle things and try to start over? We can do that, right baby? We can. We just... ugh!" he raked his hair in frustration as he tried to find the right words to say to her. He did not want this. Not even a bit. God knows how much he loves her and he is willing to set his pride away for her. Why can't she see this?
"No." she argued again. Being the stubborn girl that she is, she stood firm on her decision. "We need time alone. We need this, Ji."
Jiyong smirked bitterly at her.
"You mean you need that. I don't" he emphasized his point.
"God, Dara.. Why do you decide things on your own? Do you know how much this kills me? Do you know how much this is eating me whole? I love you, Sandara. I really do..." he repeated, agony and pain visible in his words. "..But here you are again, placing me out of the picture and kicking me out as if I won't get hurt. As if I don't care enough. I would give you the world, my world. Hell, I would pretty much give you anything I can. I'm all yours. But you always shrug that away like what you are doing right now and that's just being selfish. You're unfair." He did not strain his self now; he was irritated that she 'needs' to do this. Doesn't she have faith in him? She needs to know how much he is hurting. That he hated how she wanted to break up with him just because of their arguments. He loves her! He fucking loves her so much it hurts.
"J-Jiyong.." she whispered as she looked at him sadly. The life drained from his eyes as he stared blankly at her.
"I'm sorry", was all that she could say despite the pool of words running around her mind. She wanted to comfort him, to hug him tight, to kiss his pain away. She so much wanted to feel the life in their relationship again. But she just stayed there, rooted in her spot while shaking uncontrollably because of too much crying.
Damn. He thought.
Gathering his thoughts and pulling his self together. Jiyong used all his strength and walked towards the door of her apartment. When he reached the doorknob, he turned around; his once happy and warm eyes were now cold and hurt as he looked at her.
"Fine, if this is want you really want. I'm going. But remember that this was only you. I had no fair share in this." He told her bitterly, walked out and slammed the door shut behind him.
He was not able to think straight, all he felt was pain. He used all his speed and dashed outside the building. His heart throbbed painfully against his chest. Shit, how do you make the pain go away? Fucking pain fucking hurts. He closed his eyes tightly and raked his hair violently the moment he reached his car. He crashed his palms on the steering wheel and breathed heavily.
This night sucks. He closed his eyes shut and balled his hand into tight fists until his knuckles ran out of space for blood.
He needed air. He needed her.
After hearing his pained voice, Dara tried to follow him and was about to leave her apartment to catch him outside but her rational mind told her otherwise. If she wanted this, she wouldn't do anything to lead him on and make him more confused. Unable to think straight like Jiyong, she crouched on the floor. Folding her knees and bringing her hands to her face. She started crying, and crying, and crying. All the pain and all that happened now registering in her. She hit her chest with her fist, trying to gasp for air. It hurts so much and this night, this memory, is consuming her.
"It's over. I'm sorry" she told herself and cried some more.
YOU ARE READING
Attachment (One-shot)
Romance"Sometimes, even if you think you have gone through enough together. It's just not enough. Not well enough, at least." All the years they spent trying to make good memories, all those times they successfully conquered a conflict, now flashing befor...