The Quest For Personage

There is a baked-walnut pie smell in the air. It is the smell of budding flowers.

The grass seemed to whisper -like a library filled with people. I saw a girl standing in the middle of daffodils that looked as bright as the sun.

She has thick, naturally straight hair that hangs near her lower back. It's black with a brownish tinge because of the rising sun. Her eyes were oval and brown. She has a heart-shaped face. Her skin is beige, with a subtle rosy glow around her cheeks.

She wore a cute dress that glorified her juvenile epoch.

She looked at me. Her glances were striking. I realized who she was. She is the younger me.

I ran towards her. Realizing that I was near at hand, she bolted.

I screamed, "please, don't go. STOP"

The alarm sounded, and I woke up startled, realizing I had another dream entailing my childhood. This dream has been creating havoc in my mind for the past couple of months.

As always, I ignored the dream and went to prepare for the day.

It was going to be yet another dreary day, with no sign of anything to break the monotony. Half a day had passed, and the afternoon sun called for a meeting. Everyone was ready to present their ideas for the new creative content show.

I was supposed to give the first presentation, but my brain showed no minutetrails of creativeness. It made me beamon because I won many certificates for my creativity in my nonage. But I couldn't help it.

As the blanket of stars took over the sky, I reached home with the same outlook I had when I left in the morning. Even before sleeping, pieces of that dream kept recurring in my brain. It wasn't calming. I was afraid to sleep.

Recently my friend suggested a book, which I opened to distract my mind. In that book, the protagonist, a psychiatrist, says;

"Every dream has some or the other explanation and moderately associates with our subconscious mind."

So, I started wondering what might be the meaning of my recurring dream. Millions of Thoughts crossed my mind. Midst of all those, a question stroked my mind......

"You were so happy and creative when you were a child, but what happened now? Nothing is exhilarating you; your brain is not interested in new things; what happened to you? What made you change this much?"

I didn't know the answer to that question. I felt that maybe this question is inducing that dream. In which it is second-hand questioning me the same.

I went to the office with the canvass and uncertainty in my mind.

On the way, I saw a few children playing with balloons in the snow flurries. The children were so adorable. But even those cute happy souls couldn't make me smile.

I saw a new employee in the meeting room who pitched a fantastic idea. She had the potential to brainstorm such innovative ideas. She was an outgoingperson. She was the complete opposite of who I am now. I felt like she was the older version of my younger self.

I returned home with much more confusion and the will to answer the question. Glancing into the mirror, my eyes encountered something more than my face. It was my soul.

Many memories resurfaced in my brain-memories of my school days, exam days, and college days. As my age progressed, my happiness, creativity, and the real me got suppressed by the person I became because of society.

But why did it all happen?

I clearly remember how I used to smile from the heart, how I used to become happy over small things, how excited I used to be to learn new things, and how I used to do everything actively.