Chapter 1

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I always thought life was easy. Of course I knew the difficulties of having a job, actually having to qualify for it along with the tests you had to take. But I thought of it as you could never fail. You would never have to feel pain or loss or suffering. Only when someone passed away you'd feel that. It's a huge blow, you see that person normally on a weekly or monthly basis. Then they're gone. Just like that. However, unknowingly I was ignorant, I believed things would normally go my way, or accordingly. Im currently a year 9 high school student, I sit on an averge grade of 6 and I rarely struggle with learning. Just a few days ago I recieved my maths test back. I was really proud of it, all together it added up to around 82 out of a possible 90 marks. I even told my Dad about it, I rarely tell him things that happen at school now.

Of course while learning is a big thing in school, there are other things that come along with it. Such as friendships and relationships. I always thought I could make friends across the school and they'd stick with me or be a sort of B-friend group if that makes sense. I always had one constant group of friends from year 7. Which would be The Courtyard. It was a place where a couple of other students alike would hang out and talk, possibly play a bit of table tennis. This is where I'd normally stay to eat my food. After having a National lockdown due to the pandemic, being at school felt weird. There were so many measures put in place to keep us safe and of course the teachers safe. I still remember how half the year got sent home because two people had that virus. Absurd how quickly it could be passed on. While at home I'd be doing online learning. I preferred it as I could do whatever I want without the teacher seeing me. But you would have to obviously give a little bit of concentration incase they ask you any questions. During that time I got into this site where you could download games for free. The site was of course a bit fishy, but I was always careful when downloading. I would play the old "Call Of Duty's" that my laptop could run. It was practically a heater if it didn't have a screen. But, one day when I was self isolating during that same incident I spoke about earlier, this was rougly November time. I got a phone call. I picked it up, of course I was curious back then.
"Hello?", I said through the phone.
"Hey we have your number, how's it hanging at home?", the voice replied.
"I'm sorry, who is this?", I asked in a more inquisitive tone now.
"Wow, you forgot us already. Don't you remember joining that Discord server?", the voice said passive aggressively, with a sort of sarcastic tone.
"Oh you're that girl, or the girls from the server. Yes thank you for telling me. How did you get my number?", I asked.
"You gave it to me, remember?", there now being only one speaker. And how I did remember how I gave her my number. Joining that server was another move by me to explore all the other people in the school. It would be strange to not have spoken to everyone in my school and still graduate from my exams in about two years time. That person on the phone was the biggest most meaningful person in my life at the end of the year. But, I had a duty to look after her. She wasn't good at looking after herself. She vaped, drank unhealthy energy drinks, didn't drink enough water and would only have one meal a day. It was my mission and a dedication to make sure she was healthy. That shortly ended as I wasn't used to her type of love. It was new but confusing. I don't like settling into new things quickly. At the end of the year we ended up parting ways. And from that I was removed from the server.

From the start of 2021, I just carried on like nothing had happened. It was easy to block them about as we were at home and I couldn't see them regularly. Eventually last month, my dad got me a Playstation 4 Pro for half the price it should be. I was hesitant at first because I was already getting a laptop, a better one. But I enjoyed playing on the playstation, and then soon after I asked to cancel the order right away. I knew at that moment this was my chance to get closer with some of my friends from school.

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