I was lost until, I found you

DATE

       His words whispered in my ears . I felt like  , those three words   with three syllables were meant to rupture my heart . I could fell them again and again . More they echo more I bleed and more intense the pain grew . I LOVE YOU , coming out of his mouth and filling my soul , my body , my thoughts and everything . I could see what stupid thing love is after 5 years in his coffee brown , dark money eyes .
After two minutes of complete silence , I whispered and gathered courage inside of myself "Do you really mean it kol?" . He replied possessively ," Of course , I mean it . We've been really good friends and we know each other for a long time and I think I cannot stop my self falling for you" . After a small silence he again murmured ,"I think so we shouldn't be friends anymore".
After a long surprising and shocking watch  I finally spilled those words of  regret ," give me some time to think kol , don't you think its early !". It was not a question but it was a suggestion .
He replied to me in sadistic tone , "okay, fine by me " . Externally kol was looking fine but deep down he was having huge drastic tides and lava explosions . He murmured again , "I was not expecting this but you are asking for some time which ia your right its fine by me " .
"Thank you for understanding , I know we both know each other from a long time we have been togather in same college and then in same job place  , but we still know each other in professional way more rather than " for the first time I begun to think what I was saying . " than what , Lara?" . Than what brain think , " than in personal way " . Personal way fuck me please! . I slipped ," just give it a time please !"
As I completed my words I could see anger and blush on his cheeks . I was praying to god that he finally said something , "fine take your time I'm leaving in 5 minutes because I have and important meeting to attend, wanna join ? " . And without thinking I said ," no thank you !" .I wish I could just cut my tongue off sometimes ," I will uber myself don't worry" .
He finished his coffee in a gulp while staring at me with his haunted eyes . He left with just saying goodbye  .
A part of me was happy of listening those magical words  I love you , but I am not ready yet . I have a career to build , money to earn and many other things , vibes and trips to have . I could not do such things just for few moments of love , I need to be practical .
A call appeared on my phone screen .
"Hey ,Bella how are you ?..." Before I completed my sentence fully Bella's swarm of questions appeared , "you bitch , you went to book cafe without telling me , what are you doing there ? , with whom little slut you are ? " . Strong silence hugged me when my ears were exposed to Bella's questions , "amm, I just wanna call you and ask you if you could join me "
"Shut up and look at your back bitch" .
"Okay " I said it with obeying tone , as I turned I saw my best friend and a loud scream left my mouth and I hugged her .
"Thanks to all the heavens you are here , I just need some therapy " I said with soothing tone .
"Okay ,okay but tell me what are you doing here ?" . As she said those words , she scanned with me with her eyes and her face gestures glided from angry to suspiciousness with little garnishing of happiness , " were you on a date ?" .
I replied with amusement , "I was" .
"Oh my goodness , fuck you after having a date now you are telling me , Lara I hate you I am your best friend how could you this to me ! " .
" calm down Bella its first date and I don't think he will date me again " . Bella's eyes enlarged , " what happened?". My amusement was transformed into regret and a flash of past memories , "you know me bell I don't have time and not even my past records don't allow me to do such things" .
Bella replied in furious tone , " oh please L just forget that stupid piece of shit Max "
I break into the sob and a tear left my eyes ," you don't fucking understand , the stupid purity ring I am carrying with me is a lie" ,I wiped my eyes. My face was radiation out heat.
" I know baby calm down , this time you need to move on" .
" I can't ,I tried a lot but I can't " ,my cry become louder and louder and tears were trickling down , I said in crying voice " I was 18 , only 18 when I lost my stupid virginity , 18 was nothing "
" calm down Lara , its okay , I am also not virgin , chill"
" what calm down , the ring I am wearing is of no use , its just a burden on me , it tells me all the time I broke a stupid promise" . Bella' s hand reach my face and wiped away my tears , I whispered ," just because of this I stay away from men"
Bella murmured while catching my gaze ,"All men are not same"
"They all are same" I said in furious tone.
                
                        ( ˘ ³˘)♥