how a blonde boy stole my heart

The day we meet

I woke up this morning huffing as I looked at the time and whined I have to leave for queer camp in 20 minutes "fuck" I mumbled in a sleepy voice checking my bags and making sure I have everything I need waiting outside for my ride with my bags I see a little grey car pull up i chuck my bags in the back of the car climbing in the front seat "good morning jay are we excited for camp!" she asks in a squeaky voice I groan and in a rough croaky voice I tell her "dude shut the fuck up it's too early to hear your annoying ass voice" I look out the window putting my headphones on and start playing arctic monkeys holding my stomach forgetting that I had a miscarriage just a week before this camp not wanting to go anymore.

we pull into the camp car park I get out and put on my best fake smile hoping that the small number of people that are there are going to be the only ones I talk to the camp leader and he points to the green cabin "I guess I'm green then." I grab my duffle bag as some girl comes over to me asking me if I want help I look at her with a dead expression "no thanks I'm good" I walk away throwing my duffle bag over my shoulder I get into the cabin and look at the mattress "pft are these fucking gym mats" I giggle to myself putting my bags down walking to the dining room where you have to make your own name tag I look at the colours "fuck it ill use the colours of my flags" I grab pink, blue, yellow writing my name in the middle with hearts and stars around my name the background the pan flag I smile thinking it looks good enough I look around at how many people are dining room I feel my heart start racing I doge through all the people going back to my cabin.

Taking deep breaths so I can calm down I sit in the cabin reading till someone said my name I look up with a what face "what do you want?" they look at me with a scared face "o-oh I just w-wanted to see if you will be friends with me?" I look at them and roll my eyes forcing a smile "sure, Tay?" I ask getting up and walking back to the dining hall and looking at all the people stopping as look blushing slightly as I look at this short blonde boy up and down, I was trying to work up the courage to go up to him and talk to him instead I blurt out "anyone got a vape?" I mentally slap myself as he turns around I look at his face, blushing more he has these beautiful ocean blue eyes a gorgeous smile, very fluffy-looking hair, a hot jawline, a nice ass and toned thighs.

I feel my body heat up as he walks over to me and introduces himself "hey I'm Clover you are Jay right?" I blush even more looking at his kissable lips and his adorable braces "I-I yes I'm Jay w-what's your pronouns" I am so confused why do I feel like this? what the fuck is this feeling.. "he/him what's yours Jay?" he asked snapping me out of my thoughts "she/they" I smile looking at him "would you like to be friends?" I look at him shocked and worried I think he caught on to my facial expression he gives me a soft smile and rubs my arm "yeah that would be nice" I blush harder turning around to hide my face and compose myself I take a deep breath turning around back to you smiling grabbing his hand taking you out the group of people "this is Mars, Max, Tay and Felix guys this is Clover" I watch tay go up to Clover hugging him. I lean against the pole glaring daggers into Tay "does everyone wanna come to watch arcane" I look over at Tay who said it, pulling away from Clover. He seems upset I walked off and caught up to him taking him to my cabin I pull the door shut locking it "hey are you okay sweetie?" I look at his teary eyes and open my arms not wanting any fast movements just in case I freak him out waiting for him to react he walks over and cuddles into my chest crying I rub his back softly, trying to figure out a way to get Tay to go home.

I softly play with his hair as he calms down he pulls away from my chest "hey are you okay?" I ask he looks at me with tear-stained cheeks I feel anger and sadness boil inside of me, I cup his cheeks wiping away his tears "I'm fine j-just bad memories" he replies before I hear a knock at the door and everyone comes and takes a seat watching the movie Felix and Max are cuddling. Tay is with Dan, Mars is with Clover and I'm sitting by the wall alone looking at Clover smiling softly because he looks comfy, I curse myself under my breath stand up and walk to the hall grabbing a drink feeling like shit for getting my hopes up I go back to the cabin telling everyone dinner is ready. They all get up excited I slowly walk back over there only having 3 mouths full putting my plate on the bench, walking back to the cabin I could feel someone staring I just didn't know who it was. Everyone started making their way back to the cabin and we all stayed in my cabin that night till 10:30 pm talking laughing getting to know one other. I stay out of it not talking unless someone asked me something or if I had a question. Mars, Clover and I got close that night Mars seemed to demand more of Clover's attention so I talked to him when I could, I guess Clover liked mars more so I tried not to get possessive over him it didn't work I was already obsessed with him. I wanted him to my self and knowing I couldn't have that broke me. I cried myself to sleep that night I thought I finally found the perfect guy for me and someone else got there before me... I guess I lost maybe I have a chance..?