Lucy Lisle's Rules of Dating

Preface

       So here's the thing, I fucked up...several times. It was never on purpose, but what can I say? I'm just a pro at doing the complete opposite of what you're supposed to do in a relationship. To be fair, I never had the best role models: parents divorced due to infidelity, one parent continues to date several people for short intervals, the other must have my approval before continuing the relationship, one parent almost remarried several times, several streams of infidelity later, both parents are still not remarried despite the several opportunities given to them.

       My father has always heavily influenced my decisions. He never told me what to do growing up, but the line "I mean, I probably wouldn't do that" was always spoken. He always surrounded me with this idea that love is constantly swarming you and overwhelming you, but it's not worth ruining your life over. He would preach to my brother and me that saying the words "I do" was one of the biggest mistakes he's ever made. However, he didn't just say those words once. No, in fact, he said them twice and managed to get the same results both times. Hence, twice divorcee with two children, and a dog he never wanted. In all fairness though, he loves his life and my brother and me. So, in his defense, he has a reason to be against the whole American Dream.

       I'd like to say that my mother has taught me a lot about what not to do in relationships, yet here I am: telling you this story. My mother has taught me a lot though. She taught me that love is always worth the risk, and that giving people second chances isn't always a bad thing. She also taught me how to firmly believe in the saying, "Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me." The amount of love and heartbreak my mother has gone through forces me to give respect to her. Despite shedding enough tears to fill up a small lake, she never stops trying to find the one. She has never once driven me away from love, but allowed me to get heartbroken over and over so she could remind me that there was one less person on my journey to find love. My mother is a hopeless romantic, but maybe there is hope for her.

       Just like riding a bike, parents only teach you how to go, they never teach you how to stop. You find out how to stop after you crash...hard. Through tremendous amounts of tears over a little scratch, they convince you to get back up and try again. Both my parents taught me valuable lessons when it comes to dating and love, but what they forgot to mention were the rules of what not to do when dating. So I , Lucy Lisle, have compiled a list that I have built up over the years. A rather lengthy list at that, but very important nonetheless.