"why can't you see me? why can't i stop needing you to see me?"- Chen Chen
Stella has never been seen that is until Mason walked into her life.
Tw: self harm, suicide attempt
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Chapter 5 We talked, and she was the same inside as I am. From the same kind
I have loved Stella since the moment I saw her in my freshmen year, I know it sounds crazy and maybe it is crazy
Maybe I'm crazy but I couldn't help but love her big brown eyes and the way they shined when she was with her friends or how sometimes they looked so sad, there was something about her that made my ice-cold heart melt at the sight of her
All my friends call me pathetic for never approaching her, I was going to but it's just never a good time, and then the one time I get the opportunity to talk to her I call her names
I didn't mean to, I would never hurt her in any way. It just slipped out. I didn't realize it was her until I walked away.
I want to be close to her, I want to be in her life, I want to be her best friend for now but then be something more to her later on.
I want to be there for her when she feels like she can't go to anyone else, and I will be that person and I will love her no matter what
"Yo bro are we going to this party or not" blake interrupts my thoughts, I turn to him and give him a bro shake "yeah bro I'm almost ready," I say going back to the mirror "are you getting ready for your girl," Blake says in a teasing tone "she's not my girl," I say fixing my jacket "...yet"
Blake shakes his head smiling, "oh mase you gotta hurry up and say something to her, you got competition buddy" he says clapping my shoulder, the thought of Stella with someone who isn't me makes my blood boil
"I am at the party," I say thinking about it.
Today at the party I'm going to take her somewhere a little more private, where it's just us two, it's where my mom and I used to go to when I was younger
Just a little park, I'll confess my feelings for her. Is that stupid? Yes of course but I can't hold in my love for her anymore she needs to know.
I walk into the party with blake by my side, Noah couldn't make it
"Alright, Blake just so you know I'm not gonna be here that long I'm just going to find her and leave with her. Today is the day she knows about my feelings" I let him know, and he nods
"Let's get a drink first Romeo," he says dragging me away, we get a drink and go our separate ways, Blake goes away with some girl that I'm pretty sure is Stella's friend.
They've had a thing going on for a couple of weeks now, but I'm not sure if stells know
I go lean on a wall with my beer in hand looking around the dance floor, hoping to catch a glimpse of Stella.
I see her dancing, and the song styles by Taylor swift are on, I know she loves her.
She stands out the most
She's so beautiful.
It's her, it's always been her.
She sees me looking at her, she smiles and waves I wave back and give her a small smirk, she turns back to her friend and says something to her, her friend looks over here and nods
Stella comes my way and I meet her halfway
"You look beautiful," I tell her, she looks so good in red
She blushes and smiles "thank you, you're not so bad yourself," she says. I'm a puddle on the floor
"Do you want to go somewhere with me?" I question, I hope she says yes
After a minute she nods "sure" she replied with a smile
I grab her hand, making sure I don't lose her. And head out the door
Once I make sure she's in and okay, I go to my side of the truck and get in.
"Where are we going?" Stella questions as we head out
"It's a surprise," I say with a smile, she looks at me, and I can feel it.
She turns back around and leans against the window
Starwood
I read the sign as I pull into the parking lot I haven't been here since... since she's been gone
I park and get out, walk to her side, and open the door
"Where are we?" she questions curiously, I help her get out
"We're at Starwood park," I tell her, I go to the back and grab a blanket. "Let's go," I say grabbing her hand, she nods but doesn't move her hand away
That's a good sign, right?
We walk a little bit far
"So how did you find out about this place?" Stella questions, I look at her and smile a little, she looks around the park although you can barely see anything because of the dark but the stars
"My mom used to take me here when I was younger," I say hoping I don't sound too unhappy, she nods "I understand, thank you for bringing me here! It's so beautiful," she says looking around "you can see the stars here, I love stars so much, they give me hope that anything is possible," she says with an awestruck face
She looks so adorable as she looks up at the sky, I catch myself looking up as well.
I wish you were here, mom.
We find a spot on the grass, sit down next to each other, and talk.
I find out her favorite color is pink, she loves stuffed animals, she loves sour candy, she listens to Taylor swift and Lana del Rey, and she loves reading books, especially romantic ones, she loves stars, but she doesn't have any favorite movies or shows but at the same time she enjoys criminal minds and the vampire diaries.
I've learned her biggest fear is not finding someone who will love her, for her.
But I will, I will love her the way she deserves, the way guys love girls in the books she reads
