The Peculiar Alchemist

64 || Second Thoughts

Despite how disturbing it was, Sammy found the new development in his friends' relationship to be great. He was happy about it, happy for them, but he also craved that happiness for himself.

It was a little bit selfish of him, but he couldn't help but think that every time he saw the two idiots interact.

Because although their relationship was a bit bloody and filled with murder and death, it was clear to anyone with eyes and a brain, that wasn't as dense as Aubrey's, that they genuinely liked each other. They were so imperfect, they both did not seem like they'd fit together, but they somehow worked so well that Sammy couldn't think of a more perfect match for the other.

He hoped things would work out that way for him as he wandered the halls of his old school, the one he never got the chance to graduate from.

It might sound a little bit unsettling, maybe even creepy, but he was following the main reason that made him become so desperate to come back to life after all this time. It was also the main reason why he was so reluctant, too.

That reason was called Donovan, but he dislikes how long his name is so he goes by Van. He's close to graduating, and his birthday was a few days ago making him twenty three, and he had an obsession with salty biscuits that rivaled Kellen's obsession with pies.

But most importantly, Van wasn't seeing anyone.

It was so unbelievably absurd and lucky that nobody had caught Van's attention yet, and Sammy spent so long stressing over that. Sometimes he'd feel anxious whenever he decided to see how Van was doing, and it was always because he was fearful that he would find him happy with someone else. It was an evil selfish thing to think, especially when Sammy was dead and Van had no idea he existed, but Sammy decided that he didn't mind being a little bit evil.

He was crushing, of course he would think like that. Having feelings was all about being selfish and wanting someone for yourself. It was okay. What wasn't okay was thinking that things would magically fix themselves once he returns back to life, and it made him so afraid that thinking about it alone was unbearable.

In truth, his fear was the reason why he never nagged Kellen to bring him back.

Nine years is a very long time, and there were more important things than a silly crush he needed to think about. His family buried him, they knew he was dead. They all mourned him and he saw how his death had affected them. He even has a niece named Sammy after him. He couldn't just come back and act as if nothing happened. As if they hadn't been keeping his memory alive any way they could.

Him coming back so easily almost made that seem so meaningless when it's not, and he had no idea how they'd react despite knowing that they loved him. Besides, how could he explain his revival?

The fact that Kellen is a necromancer was actually a very well-kept secret. The only reason Aubrey became suspicious enough to figure it all out was because he was the only person Kellen didn't bother to be careful around. He didn't mind his secret being known by Aubrey, but Sammy had the feeling that the same wouldn't apply for his family.

Even if Kellen didn't mind it, Sammy doubted his family would react well to the fact that he was revived by a necromancer. They might bury him again themselves.

The option to not tell them and just live on without them knowing is also there, but Sammy didn't like it. Not at all. Plus, he'd face another problem.

He doesn't own anything.

Sammy would find himself broke and homeless.

He would also find himself able to live his life free from all the necromancers that are controlling him – it was honestly his fault for seeking them out in the first place – and he would be able to talk to Van. Make him aware of him. Sadly he was also aware that it didn't mean that Van would reciprocate his feelings once that happens. If Van showed no real interest in anyone, what made Sammy think he was so special?