This piece is a letter from one former lover to another.
February,18 ...
Dear Roland,
Mmhhmm, as the saying goes, 'This world is not balanced". Where to begin...you really fucked me up you know, you were the reason for my happiness and my pain. I cried my heart out several times because of you. I loved you with my entire being and was I willing to give up everything which had importance in my life for you .
It got so bad that I could have laid down my life for you. But you had to destroy what was so beautiful. Hmm! What can I say, I guess I made you feel the same way when I asked you not to call me a flower. I regret that day so much and wish it had never come. If you think you were the only one who was hurt, trust me, you were not. I felt the pain every single day and wish I could go back in time and let you know how much I sincerely loved you. You were my life and death and I would have given up everything just to relive all the wonderful moments we shared .
Not to forget, I noticed how much joy you took in seeing me in pain. Just like when you would be flirting with Rita and would call me a mile away just so I would watch you be with someone else. That was heartbreaking and devastating, crying is an understatement.
I rejected anyone who came my way for your sake. I was literally a prisoner of your love, most of my friends who cared enough to listen to me went on about how truly sad and helpless I was, they described my feelings for you as a "bad case of obsession". When I finally decided to move on with Danny, I found myself practically asking you for permission to be with him. I guess deep down I really wanted you to stop me but all you had to was "oh cool, fine by me . you do what you wanna girl". And to make it even worse I ended things with him partly because of you, once again I had hope, hope that you wanted me again after all this while, hope that you still loved, hope that this could not be the end of us, shocking, right? You might think I'm being dramatic. As you always seem regard my feelings to be, but this is me, at my most vulnerable. I was deeply hurt and didn't want to see your face .
This experience has taught me a lot that will forever remain with me. I am really sorry though, I wish things had gone differently, but hey...shit happens, right?.
My advice to you is "Patience". You need to be patient to get what you want in life, well that's if you really want it. If you were patient enough with me, you would have realized that all that time I was pushing you away I was going through a mental breakdown over the divorce of my parents, I know I wasn't very open about what was going on and left you to wonder and I apologize for that, truly.
However, this is not a cry for help. I don't need you to feel sorry for me. I am not weak. I just happen to fall helplessly for you. Trust me, you wouldn't recognize the me that doesn't love you. You did a number on me, and to be frank it took me almost a year and a half to get here, a point where I feel nothing for you.
August 5th, I know this day by heart. I made it a priority to get you the most amazing thing I could think of, I was so excited, I forgot my bag at the mall just trying to find something nice for you.
Nobody has ever belittled me like you did. I remember your words as if it were yesterday...
"Oh Emily, you care too much and you show it when you do. It's not good, If I was someone else ,I would have taken advantage of you. But I can not do that because I pity you ......"
Pity is what you subjected me to, hmm.
Yours truly ,
Emily .
