There wasn't much left in life to do after he was gone. She waited every single day for him with a thought that he'd be back but deep down, she knew he won't; she knew he was gone forever.
Today was no different than the other days. It was Saturday; a day to which everyone looks up to except her. She doesn't like weekends anymore because he was gone. She preferred working all days, only to keep her mind occupied somehow but her manager wouldn't let her work on weekends. She was sat on her dining table with a mug of coffee in front of her which was now becoming cold. She hadn't taken a single sip of coffee and stared blankly across the table, lost in thoughts as usual. There was nothing left in her to bring him back; to hug him one last time.
She stopped talking to all her friends even though they never stopped trying to contact her. But after a while, everyone gave up knowing that she won't talk to anyone; neither will receive any phone calls nor will open the door when she saw it was one of her friends. She didn't like others feeling sorry for her. She knew deep down that he will always be around even if he was gone.
"I'm sorry I'm late, I promise to be early next time," he said innocently.
"And how many promises did you break till now?" she asked crossly.
"I can promise you one thing for sure; I'll never leave you alone."
She snaps opens her eyes as the water drips down her body. She thought taking a shower might somehow help her cool her mind but that never actually helped. She felt angry; she felt frustrated. He broke his promise. He left her alone. She falls to the floor and curls up in a ball as she cries; as memories rush through her head like a stream of water. She wants to stop; she can't continue to think about them. She can't handle so much pain that now felt like a knife being stabbed in her heart.
There was no one now to help her deal this pain. She has been dealing with everything by herself for the past five months and she knew it was her own fault of shutting out everyone. Sometimes she did wish she had someone who would hold her tight and say that everything will be alright even though she knew it wouldn't; not without him.
She opened the cupboard which held nothing but his clothes. She threw away all her clothes after he left because she didn't want to accept the fact that he was actually gone. She wore his shirts and t-shirts every day, everywhere and never had second thoughts about them. After all, it's her way of believing that he is still with her.
First time in two weeks, she looked at herself in the mirror. She stopped looking in the mirror like she used to before and anyway, she didn't need to look in the mirror often now because there was no one left for whom she would dress up and look beautiful. The one who would compliment her was now gone; gone forever.
She looked like she was a victim of anorexic; not much flesh left in her and she looked extremely pale. In other words, she looked close to a corpse. She had huge bags under her eyes due to insomnia which happened only after he left. Her thoughts would barely allow her to eat or sleep properly and besides, she never actually cared about herself anymore.
She got dressed, wearing the shirt he wore the day before he left. She arranged everything in the house and left a note incase someone came looking for her because today, she will go where he was. She has to go where he is. She did everything she could to move on with life but she couldn't. She has handled enough pain until now and she couldn't do it anymore.
"I trust you. You wouldn't do anything that is going to hurt me," he said.
But she is going to hurt him this time, she thought as she drove. It was windy outside today, a perfect day to leave. As she drove, she saw a couple laughing together as they walked. She thought of him, how they both laughed together; how people would think that they were actually best buddies and not a couple.
"What would you do if I left one day?" he asked softly.
"Maybe I'd leave with you too. I will not let you go anywhere alone."
She got out of her car and walked up the cliff; a place she came every weekend. She felt relaxed when she was here. The waves of the sea, the cold breeze blowing by, the sound of the tree branches that moved due to the wind, everything made her mind calm. She used to come here with him to watch the sunset together; it was the most beautiful thing she had ever witnessed. This was the place where he brought her, the place where he first placed his lips upon hers. But now, she was left with nothing but memories.
"You'll never keep any secretes from me alright?" she asked holding his hands.
"I won't," he said forcing a smile and she knew that moment itself he was hiding something.
"Why?" she whispered as a drop of tear fell down her cheeks. She hates it; she hates thinking about the memories of them together but she can't help it. She can shut her mind to everything except the memories of him. His smile, the twinkling eyes of him when he looked at her still lives in her thoughts. Why didn't he tell her? Why didn't he tell her he was sick; that he'll leave soon? Why? Why? Why?
He thought he was doing her a favour by not telling her but he wasn't. Didn't he know that she'll become a shell with no life in it if he left? He could have told her and maybe, just maybe she could have done something, anything to make him alright. But he didn't.
"I'll always live within you," he said holding her hands. His last words to her.
"You can't leave. You can't leave me alone, please," she said sobbing.
She looked to her right and he was there. He was standing just few steps away from her; looking at her. Another tear escapes her eyes because she wishes that she could hold him for once; just for once be in his arms. But she knew it wasn't possible.
But he didn't want her to leave when she can have so much in life; when she can love and be loved again. He wanted her to be happy again and she knew that but she also knows that she stopped thinking about happiness a long time ago.
She smiles. She smiles for the first time in five months. She smiles because she knows that she'll never have to feel pain again. She smiles because she knows she'll be able to be with him. She smiles because he was there with her when she was leaving. She smiles as she closes her eyes and falls down the cliff.
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A/N: I don't usually write stuffs like this but emotions can do many things to a person. I hope you guys enjoyed it.
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