Hotel Room Service (Pitbull x Gordon Ramsay)

Vampiric Awakenings

Pitbull had just put on her ivory foundation and khaki skirt. She had just moved to Spoons, Oregon with her mother Carly. It was a long way from her home in Utah but she needed the change. She would miss the cacti and the multi-level marketing schemes but it was all worth it in the long run. 

It was her first day of school at Spoons high school and she had just gotten out of her rusty old car that was bound to fall apart any minute now. Pitbull straightened his aviator shades and entered biology class. There he was. Gordon, his name was. Ramsay. He and his family lived out in the woods and strangely disappeared on sunny days. He was mysterious, and more importantly, extremely hot. His pale pale ivory pale skin had a dull twinkle to it, but that had to be Pitbull's imagination working its wonders. He sat down and twirled his hair. 

¨Why hello there ;)¨ Gordon said, gazing into Pitbull's shit-brown orbs. 

¨Hi..¨ Pitbull said shyly. He subtly inflated his tits just a little bit, for first impression's sake. 

¨This weather is a load of tosh, innit? After school we should get out of this rain and into my bedroom. I know I just met you but something about you is so mind boggling.. my d- I mean hose is stiffening with lamb sauce just from the sight of ye." He said, in a monologue that could only be compared to the sounds of the gates of heaven. 

¨Wow.. I don't know why or how.. but I think i'm totally irvvecolbably in love with you now!!! Lets get out of here and wait until marriage!!! Because I'm from Utah!" Pitbull said. 

The two ominously walked into the woods after the final bell rang dragging behind them a very large cylinder covered by a even larger towel. 

They hiked all the way to a field. Gordon ripped away the towel to reveal an industrial sized vat of lamb sauce. 

¨Oh Gordon, you sly dog!!!¨ Pitbull moaned in excitement. 

Gordon turned a comically sized nozzle to turn on the flow. He pointed the hose at Pitbull's inflatable bosom and sprayed her down with incredible force. The two took turns all night long.