Requiem - Michaeng [ENG]

Best Of Three

Last night was hell for me. And after all, I still had to get that message from Sana. She was back, ready to come clean, but I'm not. Actually what I was least at that moment is ready to even get the news back from her. This wasn't the way I imagined it, she should have arrived and notified Momo who then would have let me know. Sana shouldn't be coming after me, it should be just the opposite so I could apologize.

I spent some time still in the car processing the latest news. Minho was walking the wrong way and I would have the moment of truth anytime the next day. I must confess that I was much more scared of Sana.

I drove to my parents' house and did a quick sweep of Minho's room. I thanked God everyone was out and I was able to take my time and relax. I messed around and looked in every possible corner to store something that shouldn't be found by anyone but yourself, but I didn't have much luck. Either he didn't have anything else or we really were two completely different souls in hide and seek.

It was amazing how that place didn't make me feel at home. When I arrived, all I felt was a certain kind of trepidation and dread of being caught, as if I was doing something extremely wrong by being there, as if I were trespassing into another family's home. Who feels this way in their own house? That stopped having a good meaning for me a long time ago, I remember wishing bitterly for my independence so I could leave without looking back. My siblings were the only people who still made me enjoy this place, but now only one of them still had my complete trust, and even so, I learned to always tread carefully through the lands of the troubled Myoui family.

Today was a new day and certainly a new despair for me. I barely closed my eyes when I got home and the reflections of that sloppiness were present now. The class couldn't be more monotonous, my eyes tried with all their might to stay open, cautiously following the teacher's every step or movement. But it was in vain, I had no more strength and what kept me awake was the flame of fear that, every minute more, spread throughout my body. Today the clock was my enemy, but I didn't know if I wanted time to stop or pass.

At the end of the morning periods I withdrew as quickly as I entered, making my way to the only place I would feel safe in that building. I knew the girls always had lunch together, it's been our thing since forever, and with that I knew that if Sana were here she would be at the table with them too. It scared me. I wasn't ready yet. What the hell! I could swear I wasn't putting too much emphasis on this situation.

I walked into the old auditorium, kicking over buckets and chairs in my way. I could feel despair screaming inside my chest, I discovered at that moment how much fear I still had of rejection. If Sana ended our relationship today I don't know what would be left of me.

I made myself comfortable in one of the chairs in the old auditorium and allowed myself to catch the breath I had lost just imagining what awaited me later. It felt like I ran a marathon, I was so out of breath, I couldn't allow myself to have a panic attack right here, in this secluded place. No one would find me until my body decomposed, because I would surely die waiting for help. I closed my eyes freeing my mind of all thoughts and focusing on the comforting silence of the place, no wonder this was my secret place. There I could really relax and think.

- Marco. - I opened my eyes slowly questioning if I had really heard what I thought I had heard. - I know you're here.

I turned my face towards the large entrance doors, facing the best part of all this confused and painful reality.

- Polo. - I didn't raise my voice more than necessary and didn't move either. But even so, she knew how to find me in the midst of that immensity.

- What are you doing here? Everyone is there in the cafeteria. - She asked in a soft voice, probably already knew something was wrong.