SOB
Hello unknown number from somewhere in the UK.
Please help me settle an argument I'm having with my friend.
He says we should change the water in the school lake to cola, and I think we should tape a speaker playing Rick Astley's Never Gonna Give You Up to a drone and fly it to follow our least favorite teacher for the whole day.
Our other mate thinks we should just ruin his classroom, but that doesn't seem to be quite fun enough for our purposes.
Please get back to me on which you think we should do,
SOB
Unknown Number
It is the crack ass of dawn what the fuck could your bitch ass fucking want peter
and istg if you ask me about the intricacies of gay sex again i'll kill your firstborn
SOB
Unknown Number,
This Pete bloke sounds like a real riot
and as much as I'm interested in that, I do need someone to side with me for this prank. It's quite urgent I get a response.
Unknown Number
Oh ffs ur not even pete
How about you fuck off
Do both or neither I don't give a fuck
Throw a giant squid in the lake for all I care
Just don't fuckin text me
SOB
UNKNOWN NUMBER YOURE BRILLIANT
THANK YOU DEARLY BELOVED UNKNOWN NUMBER MY LIFE IS IN YOUR DEBT
Unknown Number
leave me alone
•_•_•
SOB
Dearest Unknown Number, I thought I should update you on the events of The Black Lake Squid.
We've ordered for the squid to arrive here in a month. So, we've begun what my friend Peter calls Operation Squidward's Tiki Land.
Essentially, we're fixing up the lake to be the perfect habitat for our future inkish arrival.
Unknown Number
who tf is this
SOB
Why I'm me and you are you.
Unless you are me and I am you.
That would be quite the conundrum.
Unknown Number
why is it always fucking me with the ridiculous experiences
what did i do to deserve this
SOB
Perhaps you saved the world in your past life
to be the one out of thousands who was blessed by my virtual presence
Unknown Number
a bit cocky aren't you
SOB
Something of that sort.
Unknown Number
I crave the cold clammy hands of death
SOB
That's unfortunate. If you need a hitman I know several people.
Anyways, making our own makeshift ecosystem really is proving quite difficult.
I'm so very thankful that our school lake is deep enough for natural marine snow so we can buy toothfish that will naturally reproduce.
Unknown Number
Oh ffs
Please tell me you didn't actually buy a giant squid for a school prank
SOB
WHAT
OF COURSE NOT
Also, do forgive me I'm still learning about texting. I don't know what ffs means but I've learned I don't need to address who I'm sending to at the beginning like one does in a letter.
Unknown Number
You've never texted anyone before?
Like 0 people
SOB
None.
Unknown Number
Okay sure
I'm not gonna ask any questions bc I desperately do not want to know
Ffs means for fucks sake
You also don't need correct grammar or punctuation
Most people don't even capitalize their words
much more conversational than a letter
SOB
oh
okay then sick
it was for fab and gid's birthday by the way
lads deserve a good gift and im not the family disappointment if i don't live to entertain
Unknown Number
Ffs
Okay you and your mate have fun making an artificial environment for the giant squid you apparently just have available
I'm gonna go write my english essay
Dipshit
awww
is ickle unknown number a little nerd hehehe
Unknown Number
I wouldn't say particularly but they're making us write a paper on Harrison Bergeron and our teacher taught us terribly inaccurate information about Kurt Vonnegut and i just can't let it slide
The dumbass said it satirizes an obsession with equalizing
What an absolute joke
Dipshit
i have literally never read harrison bergeron in my life
Nerd
Well don't it's arguably Vonneguts worst piece of literature he's ever published
Dipshit
then it's a very good thing i barely know who he is
sounds like a loser anyway
Nerd
Yeah he's not really all that tbh
Anyway Kraken I gotta go do shit so I guess I'll maybe respond when you text me next
Dipshit
how charming
Nerd
Thats what they call me
Prince charming
Dipshit
then i do suppose i'll have to be your cinderella
Prince Charming
Maybe one of the mice that turn to coachmen
Dipshit
first of all how dare you if im an animal it's a dog 100%
second of all they were rats not mice
third of all how dare you x2
Prince Charming
Sure
Whatever you say ratticus
Ratticus
is that a reference i don't understand
Prince Charming
Like Atticus
But rat
Ratticus
what's atticus
Prince Charming
You're stupid
And i'm being yelled at so I'm gonna go
Dumbass
oh how i'll miss you my dearest prince charming
YOU ARE READING
Summers at Lupin Farm
FanfictionSirius messages a random number asking what he Peter and James should do for their next prank. The response has Sirius intrigued. basically just another text fic featuring the pookies :> just got a description and cover revamp; was previously calle...
