𝐀𝐁𝐎𝐔𝐓 𝐔𝐒

❛━. 𝑡𝑤𝑒𝑙𝑣𝑒

ABOUT US

❛━.       𝑐ℎ𝑎𝑝𝑡𝑒𝑟 𝑡𝑤𝑒𝑙𝑣𝑒

KONGPOB

          Inhaling deeply, I felt the sweet smoke hit my lungs, then exhaled slowly, letting it drift away with the weight in my chest. Cigarettes—they’d become a strange solace, my way to unwind, even if just for a minute. Everything about my life felt heavy these days, and this small habit was an odd comfort.

People kept talking about how good-looking Arthit was, how he seemed to have some magnetic pull. It wasn’t that I disagreed—I mean, sure, I could see why people liked him. But I’d never let myself think too much about it. In fact, I figured he hated me for all the hazing punishments I went through. But whenever I remembered the way he looked after me that time I was sick, I couldn’t help but feel confused.

Who was he, really?

I sighed, brushing the thought away, only half-listening as Oak’s voice cut through the quiet. "Look at them chasing after him," he said, watching the girls who’d been flocking to Arthit the moment he showed up.

"Looks like his fan club is growing."

I tried to act indifferent, keeping my eyes on my cigarette as if it held all the answers.

"Something on your mind?" Em’s voice came from beside me, snapping me out of my thoughts.

Was there? Or was it just the background noise of those girls’ laughter mixing with everything else I kept trying to ignore? I took another drag, letting the smoke trail out in a thin line.

"Nothing much," I muttered, hoping he’d drop it. But my gaze drifted back to Arthit, watching him in his element, laughing with his friends, surrounded by attention. He looked so comfortable, so... easy in himself, something I didn’t feel I could afford anymore.

I flicked my cigarette to the ground, crushing it under my heel. "Well, I gotta go," I mumbled, though it sounded like a grumble even to me. Something about seeing him surrounded by people who didn’t know a fraction of what I dealt with got under my skin. I wasn’t mad at him—just at everything that kept me feeling like an outsider in my own life.

The sun was setting, casting long shadows across the street, filling the sky with a warm orange glow. I’d finished my shift at the milk tea stall for the day, but my body felt worn, like I’d been carrying a weight much heavier than the trays of drinks and ice I served.

I used to be different. I was once the bright, outgoing one, but since that night, everything has changed. Each day was just another step toward paying off a debt that didn’t feel like it’d ever disappear. And each step came with the memory of Kiet, his face and fists always ready to remind me of a past I couldn’t erase. Every scar, every bruise, and every new bill—it all felt like punishment, not for something I’d done, but for who I was: a kid caught in a mess he didn’t make.

My grandmother, though... she was the one reason I kept going. All my jobs, all the nights I collapsed into bed without eating, it was all to make sure she was okay. After everything she’d been through—what Kiet’s father did to her—it was the least I could do. I’d protect her at all costs, even if it meant losing parts of myself along the way.

As I reached the care facility, I lingered outside her room, watching through the door. She was smiling, sitting at a small table, her attention focused on a simple game with one of the caregivers, Alicia. Seeing her laugh, seeing her safe, gave me a sense of peace I hadn’t felt in ages.

"How is she doing?" I asked softly, nodding to Alicia when she stepped out.

"She’s doing really well! You don’t have to worry so much, Nong," she said, smiling warmly. "Sending her here was the best choice, truly. You’re still young; school is important too!"

Her words were kind, but they only made the weight of guilt press harder on me. Sure, my grandmother was safe now, but I knew she was here because of my father’s mistakes and his debts. And because of me... for what I did.

I forced myself to believe it was self-defense, that I had no choice, but the guilt never left.

"Are you really not going to go see her?" Alicia asked, tilting her head as she took in the bag I held.

I shook my head, handing her the bag. "These are some of her things... her favorite singer’s album, some books she likes. I don’t want to disturb her—just... take care of her, please."

"Of course," she replied, her gaze sympathetic. I knew she understood, at least a little.

I turned and walked away, heading back down the corridor, feeling the hollowness return as the distance grew between us. The memories of what happened were still there, etched into every step I took. I tried to shake it off as I headed home, but it was like a ghost I couldn’t outrun.

As I reached the street, my phone buzzed. Em’s name lit up the screen.

"Are you not back yet?" he asked, his voice filled with worry.

I chuckled, trying to keep it light. "You sound like my mum."

"Eerr, I am your mum! Seriously, though, are you okay? Did that bastard look for you again?"

I smiled, feeling a bit lighter. "I’m okay, na. Just got back from seeing my grandma. I’m heading to the dorm now."

"Good! Rest up, okay? And remember, there’s that gathering with the hazers tomorrow. Don’t be late."

The reminder hit me like a cold splash of water. "Oh... yeah, sure. You rest too, okay? I’ll talk to you later."

I hung up and sighed, pressing the elevator button. The doors opened, and I stepped inside, staring at my reflection in the shiny metal wall. There was something distant in my own eyes, a hint of someone I didn’t fully recognize anymore.

And just for a moment, I thought about Arthit again, about that feeling I got around him that I couldn’t quite explain. He didn’t know about any of this, any of what I carried. But part of me wondered what he’d think if he did.