When The Smoke Is In Your Eyes (l.s.)

0.50

28.05.15

~*~

Louis' first thought when he woke from the anaesthetic was if Harry was okay because he was Louis Tomlinson and somehow always found a way to put others before himself. His vision was a little blurred but when it focused he could see he was in a hospital room and his mum was sat on a chair next to his bed.

As much as he loved his mum his heart dropped a little bit because Harry wasn't there. Although he felt a soft fabric in amongst the crisp hospital sheets. When he pulled back the covers he noticed the frog plushie Harry had won months ago in the arcade and the teddy Louis had slept with nearly every night since.

"Where's Harry?" He spoke, cringing at the raspiness of his voice and dry feeling inside his mouth.

"He's gone home sweetie." Jay smiled, taking hold of Louis' hand and rubbing her thumb across the back of it.

"Is he coming back?"

The woman ignored his question and moved to the little water machine in the corner of the room, filling one of the cups with water before going back to Louis. She pressed a button on one of the controls next to his bed and then handed him the water which he drank quickly then held out for a refill.

As his mum was refilling the cup a nurse entered, smiling brightly as she tapped her pen against the clipboard in her hand.

"Good morning Louis! How are we feeling?" She chirped, overly cheerful as she fiddled around on one of the machines.

"A little drowsy and a throbbing in my arm, not crazy pain though." He answered, trying to sit up and finding it hard to due to one arm being bandaged and weak.

"That's good, it means the pain killers are working. And drowsiness is an expected side affect of the anaesthetic so I shouldn't worry about that. The bullet has been removed and the wound stitched up, we'll probably keep you in until the doctor has seen you and run some tests and then you'll be free to go home this evening. You'll also need to come back for weekly check ups then in about two weeks you'll have to come back to get the stitches removed."

Louis nodded at her, smiling happily as she left the room. Then he turned back to his mum who was looking down at her lap and picking at her finger nails.

"Mumma, can I call Harry and ask him to come see me?" He asked, knowing his mum would probably allow it.

The answer he got was totally unexpected.

"Lou, I think I need to explain some things to you. After this little accident I've decided it's best you don't see Harry anymore, I've told him this and that's why he's not here right now."

Louis could feel tears brimming and for probably the millionth time in his life he wished he didn't cry so easily.

"Why? That's not fair." He whined, hoping with a few tears his mum would give in.

"You could've died Louis. You were in his care and you were expected to be looked after and protected but instead you got shot. I don't think it's safe for you to be around him anymore."

"It was my fault mum! He told me to stay inside but I didn't listen. I was the one who wasn't paying attention and stepped in front of the bullet. He tried his hardest to keep me safe, it was my fault!"

"You were under his care. You're still not a legal adult so he was expected to keep you safe which he didn't do. I don't want you seeing him anymore and that's final." She folded her arms and stared at Louis, silently challenging him to say anything else.

He didn't. And he kept his mouth shut the rest of the day, only answering questions the doctors or nurses asked him. Anytime she tried to make conversation he'd looked the other way and completely shut her down. Even on the way home he let the car fill with awkward silence because if she was going to be difficult then so was he.

Thankfully, his mum had forgotten about the use of mobile phones so while she was putting the twins to bed he looked through her handbag for where his phone might be. Not finding it there he headed for the kitchen in hopes she'd left it on the side like she always did with her own phone.

"What do you think you're doing?" He heard her voice from behind her, making him jump and stumble back a little.

"I erm, looking for my phone." He answered, gulping quietly.

"Why?"

"To text."

"Harry I presume. When I say no contact Louis I mean absolutely no contact whatsoever."

"Why? I don't understand the big problem?"

"He could've got you killed Louis!" She shouted, waving her arms in the air.

"But I'm still alive! And it wasn't even his fault mum! I didn't listen!"

"Like you're not doing now? I don't want you seeing him and that's final."

"No, no it's not final. I love him! You can't stop me being with the person I love."

"Oh please Louis, you're barely 16, you wouldn't know love even if it came up and punched you in the face!"

"How dare you!? I love Harry mum, I am in love with him and I want to be with him!" He screamed back, his arm throbbing slightly.

"What's love then Louis? Tell me."

"He makes me happy, he always knows how to put a smile on my face. He cheers me up whenever I'm down and makes me want to do better. He's the reason I try harder at school and push to get good grades on my exams. He makes me feel loved and wanted and like someones proud of me. He makes me laugh and he's made me cry but I know he's never meant it. He brings a butterfly feeling in my stomach whenever he's near me. I love him mum."

"Feelings are worthless Louis, a bunch of stupid, childish feelings mean nothing!" She spat, rolling her eyes.

Anger struck within Louis, the woman who always told him to follow his heart and never let anyones opinions on his feeling get him down was now the one putting him down for his feelings.

"What about giving him my virginity," Louis shouted, watching the colour drain from his mothers face and relishing in the sight, "feeling something inside me for the first time. Touching me like no ones ever touched me before, making me feel hot all over and loved and wanted and needed. Making me feel things I've never felt before but want to feel for the rest of my life. Is that what love is mum? Or is that all stupid as well? Just stupid meaningless feelings. Is that why dad left? Because it was all just stupid meaningless feelings?"

"Louis Tomlinson, go to your room right now. Get out of my sight." She hissed so quietly you'd almost miss it.

Almost guiltily Louis trudged past her, trying to ignore the sob he heard as he walked up the stairs. Beginning to cry himself when he sat down on his bed.

A/N

Ooooh gosh damn

Hope you're all doing great, I love you bunches xxx

See you Saturday :)

{37,200 reads 2,400 votes}