It's taking a lot of bravery to share my personal story. And I thank the mind that is allowing me to enter and talk about some very sensitive topics. I know a lot of you may have similar stories and experiences. I find utter solace in being understood by you. I always say the next best thing to being loved, is being understood.
So the story begins with drugs. It ends with me slipping the veil of consciousness to my ankles like a dress. But it doesn't end there.
You are made of stardust. The very same thing the stars are made of, is the light inside of you. Energy cannot be created nor destroyed. All the energy that was to exist, existed in the beginning of time and before that.
So basically in 2020, I ate an entire edible. The experience was marvelous and I was in the clouds. I felt on top of the world, so I ate another one a few weeks later. And my experience was the complete opposite. Instead of seeing the world through rose colored glasses in a paradisiacal way, I saw it for what it truly was. The anxiety and fear from all life forms came to me at once & overwhelmed me.
The Earth became a living and breathing person and I could feel her pain. Everything became calculated. Depression became instantly crippling, I almost feared I wouldn't make it home. I could feel the laws of physics bringing me close to death. I came face to face with my fears. It was extracted from my very core and became larger than life.
And I know it doesn't make sense to leave the comfort I know but because of this I tried to commit suicide. I tried hanging myself with a scarf at the park. The thing was I had a pair of scissors in my pocket to cut the scarf and get down. I didn't say goodbye to anyone. With tears in my eyes, I began to walk. While I was losing air, my life force energy started to pour out of my pores. I was going to another realm. I felt a whoosh of pressure, air, and water. Everything was black until I got further into the process. An image of an animal sitting on a wooden beam in the middle of an ocean appeared in me. I was transitioning into this form. If it were random images that my brain was producing like a dream before shutting down, I would have seen multiple images of random things. I could have seen anything from cars, to books, to mirrors, to desks, to family members, to myself or just an ocean. This was deliberate and no coincidence.
If you struggled like me with the unknown and religion, I hope this post gives you insight into the future. I hope this eases the fear of death in your mind. I hope you connect with your loved ones who have crossed over. I hope the pain of grief is subdued. I pray that you connect with your soul tribe. Sadness is an illusion. If you would stop worrying and start LIVING in the beauty of love, you would be more satisfied. Millions of years ago, you were in the same place. Worrying when everything is okay right now and will be. As long as you are resilient, patient, strong, connected with the God of your knowing. Keep meditating, keep reading, keep aligning your chakras. Never stop!
~ Namaste! -kevasky
