Haya's POV
In my opinion no one is born as a villain but situations arise that makes us what we are today!!! Not that I am justifying anyone's wrongdoings but we all have our moments where some of us take the right path or some lose their way.
You all may have gathered till now, I am Haya that majority of you hate for coming in between Murtasim and Merub. I am what you call, "the villain" of their story but I am the "main character" of mine whose path is yet to be defined.
It all started at the day when my parents died. You might call me heartless but I am glad they did. Not every happy family that appears to be smiling is the one you wish for, my baba always regretted having a girl and my mumma well she wanted what my baba wanted.
My baba wanted someone who could compete with Murtasim "the warris(heir) of the ShahNawaz Khan Khaandan but looks like not everyone gets what they want. Since childhood I was beaten simply for existing and whenever we visited Khan House, we all would pretend to be the happy family. I find friend in Maryam, trust me when I say I adore her as she was the first one who shared her warmth with me. I used to get jealous of how they used to get pampered by their parents when I used to protect myself for even smiling, he beat me because he thought I was laughing at his fate.
I always used to ask what was my fault in all this since my baba used to compare that Merub with me, she was a girl too so why not hate her too? Oh yeah, she was a bright student, charming yet innocent for her age, the most beautiful girl of our family that even Anwar uncle used to adore her. She literally got love of two father although one was skeptical about it but his eyes used to shine at Merub's tiniest achievement. Even Maryam used to appreciate her that made me feel like someone snatched the only source of happiness from me. I never wanted to but that constant comparison and family's especially Maryam's inclination towards Merub gave birth to the jealousy towards an innocent soul who did nothing wrong to me.
The happiest day of my life came when my parents died, call me heartless or whatever what being an orphan is better than having parents like them. I was sent to leave at Khan Mansion where I got the some love atleast I wasn't beaten there. My eyes although used to crave for the attention that Maryam, Murtasim, and whenever Merub came, she used to get. Merub "pagal ladki" hated to came here where people used to like her since this house felt like a restriction to her but ask me who was craving for love since childhood.
Murtasim, the boy who had to become the man of the house at the age of sixteen well he was prepared for it since childhood. I have always admired him and the love started to grow when we both become partners in pain. He has lost someone he love, his chahat due to family customs and me who was lost since birth found each other. For him, I was just a friend, someone who gave him shoulder when he lost her, he used to talk about her for hours and me used to admire the love he had for her. I wished that love for me the way Murtasim loved his chahat. Few days after he lost her, he suddenly stopped crying and decided to become an emotionless man who was just the "Khan Murtasim Khan" the man everyone used to fear. I was lucky to see the soft side of him and his dislike towards Merub made me realise that someone is there who is just meant for me. You may call it an obsession but I genuinely loved him.
Let's talk about the money that comes with marrying Murtasim, you may call me a gold digger but who doesn't need money to survive? The hunger for money and power made my family abandon me so why not to achieve the only thing in my life that my baba wanted? That doesn't makes me a gold digger but someone who wants to live securely and happily. All my dreams got shattered the day "Maa Begum" announced the marriage of Merub and Murtasim. I was hurt but was convinced that Murtasim hated Merub and would do anything to end this conversation but has it ever happened what I wanted? My destiny took this moment to laugh at me and Merub Murtasim got married.
They may show how they hate each other but I could witness the unsaid feelings between them, the love that was brewing between them. I begged in front of Murtasim to accept my love and changed myself into the perfect life partner he wanted but again my happiness got snatched from me, even tried to killed myself and you know whom I blamed - Merub. Only if she hadn't come, Murtasim would've been mine. I tried to tell him that Merub doesn't love him, told maa begum how inperfect Merub is for the house and the danger for Murtasim.
I went to an occultist to get her removed from our lives permanently but Murtasim got hurt and somehow the thorn of my life, Merub was thrown out too but Murtasim got her back leaving me in the shadows of abandonment.
Life is unpredictable and there are many what's ifs, only if this would've happened. What if my parents loved me? What if Murtasim would've loved me back? What if I learnt the concept of self-love? What if I paid heed to Merub's words and wouldn't have compromised my self-respect? There are so many what ifs but I can't do nothing about it except repent. I know I need to consult a psychiatrist for the wound that was never healed but I have come too far on the path of destruction, the road that ends with my last moment only.
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Hello everyone, well villains has always intrigued me and haya is someone whom I hate yet want to explore her character. This idea was impulsive so does the writing. There are numerous grammatical errors, syntax errors too but I hope to correct it once I get time. The writing is flawed but I hope you all atleast would give it a chance and lemme know how can I improve myself.
Hope you all have an amazing day, remember to be kind to everyone 💜
Signing off
Anshul
