Primal Authority; His Devotion

Ch.1 Don't Cry Over Spilled Coffee

Warning: Brief mentions Physical abuse.

Wake up. Breakfast. Prepare Lunches. Clean. Shower. Dress. School. Work. Home. Dinner. Clean. Homework. Sleep. Wake up. Breakfast. Prepare Lunches. Clean. Shower. Dress. School. Work. Home. Dinner. Clean. Homework. Sleep. Wake up. Breakfast. Prepare Lunches. Clean. Shower. Dress. School. Work. Home. Dinner. Clean. Homework. Sleep. Wake up. Breakfast. Prepare Lunches. Clean. Shower. Dress. School. Work. Home. Dinner. Clean. Homework. Sleep. Wake up. Breakfast. Prepare Lunches. Clean. Shower. Dress. School. Work. Home. Dinner. Clean. Homework. Sleep. Wake up. Breakfast. Prepare Lunches. Clean. Shower. Dress. School. Work. Home. Dinner. Clean. Homework. Sleep. Wake up. Breakfast. Prepare Lunches. Clean. Shower. Dress. School. Work. Home. Dinner. Clean. Homework. Sleep.

This is all I can do. Keep my head down. Don't be late. Save your money. Escape. Make your life better. Make it better no matter what.

My throat is tightening as I chant this mantra over and over in my head as the cold-water showers down upon me. Get clean. Be clean. I drag the lathered washcloth over my skin, wincing as it scrubs the deep purple and yellowing splotches. Some centered on my shoulders while others... Their impressions are a painful reminder of fingers. I scrub harder. Make it clean. Be clean. Survive. Escape. Keep to the routine. Don't stray. Don't be late. Don't be late again. I rinsed my now red skin; the cold water is becoming like a numb agent.

After shutting off the water, I grabbed my towel and began to dry myself off. Everything is on autopilot. Getting dressed in the bathroom. Brushing my teeth. Clamping my hair back with a few strands framing my face...I see it. All of it. The dark circles, my eyes bloodshot, and the faint bruise forming and swelling on my cheek. I began to make art. I use the concealer to my full advantage and apply a base of the foundation. I apply a layer of mascara and eyeliner. Then a matte nude lipstick. Just enough makeup to cover and not too much so people don't stare too long. I leave the bathroom slowly, listening for any movement. I move to the front of the house and peer out the living room window, both cars are gone. The fluttering in my chest doesn't stop and I walk to the kitchen.

Opening the fridge, I see all the lunches are gone. Father's...Ramsey's...and mine? I look around with tears in my eyes before turning to the trash can. I open it up and there is the brown paper bag with my name scribbled on it, crumpled and the contents emptied out of their sandwich bags. I sucked in a sharp breath before going to the cupboard to only discover the snacks I bought were eaten as well. Don't have time. No time. I put on my shoes and grabbed my backpack that contained my work apron and name tag. Leave now. I left the house, locked it and put in my headphones before walking to the bus stop a few blocks outside of my Cul-des-sac. It's the first day of the new fall semester and I need to focus. I can't let them win. I waited for the bus with a newfound nervousness. What if the professors are too hard or what if...I fail. What if I'm stuck here. If I don't- No. There is no other option.

Wake up. Breakfast. Prepare Lunch. Clean. Shower. Dress. School. Work. Home. Dinner. Clean. Homework. Sleep. Wake up. Breakfast. Prepare Lunch. Clean. Shower. Dress. School. Work. Home. Dinner. Clean. Homework. Sleep. Wake up. Breakfast. Prepare Lunch. Clean. Shower. Dress. School. Work. Home. Dinner. Clean. Homework. Sleep. Wake up. Breakfast. Prepare Lunch. Clean. Shower. Dress. School. Work. Home. Dinner. Clean. Homework. Sleep. Work Hard. Get out there. Survive. Escape. No distractions.

The bus pulled up and I sat in the open seat in the middle. I have to remember I just need to focus on school. Stay off their radar and save as much money to leave. We can do this. We have no other choice. Seeing the college campus up ahead and getting off the next stop, I felt shaky. I can do this.