self control ~ rafe cameron

4

The Neighbourhood - Daddy Issues
<3
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I woke up on the couch. I looked at my phone, 20 missed calls from Rafe and hundreds of messages. I wasn't planning on answering. Or even reading them.

"Morning."
"Who's that"
"Kiara"
"Morning Kiara"

I sat up and looked around

"What time is it?"
"Like 8:30"
"I'm going back to sleep."
"You can't. We're going out today"
"Who's we?"
"Everyone."
"Why."
"We're going surfing then looking for this island room thing."
"Ughhhhh i don't want to get upp"
"Tough get up or I'll throw water on you."
"Nooo"
"Your phone was going off like crazy all night."
"It was Rafe."
"Why is Rafe blowing up your phone?"
"Because he hit me last night and I left"
"Okay but why does he care so much?"
"Promise you won't tell anyone."
"Promise."
"Well like 5 minutes before Sarah came over he started making out with me. And he was talking about how he cared about me and I was his best friend."
"Wow. That's.... A lot."
"I know."
"Are you going to talk to him?"
"I'm gonna have to eventually. I should probably just get it over and done with."
"I can drop you off today while we go surfing?"
"Really? Thanks."

I got up and went over to Kiara

"You have to promise you won't tell anyone about me and Rafe. Especially Sarah."
"I won't. But just know if you do my wrong I can tell her."
"Where is everyone?"
"JJ and Pope went to the store, John B and Sarah are outside."

I walked outside to John B and Sarah.

"I heard you guys are looking for some sort of an island room?"
"Yeah."
"Is it literally like a room decorated like an island or just a random room?"
"We have no idea. That's why it's gonna be so hard to find."
"I need to go back to the house today. Could someone drop me off?"
"Sure. I can take you."
"Thanks John B"
"When do you wanna go?"
"I'll go whenever. I just need some clothes and shit."
"Bring some for me!"
"Obviously you'll have some Sarah. I'm taking them from your house."

I was sat inside talking to Pope when Rafe started calling me again.

"One second Pope. I need to get this."

I walked outside and answered the call

"What do you want Rafe?"
"I need to talk to you."
"Okay talk."
"I'm sorry."
"And?"
"I really didn't mean to get angry with you like that. Please come talk to me"
"I'll come over later. I need clothes anyways."
"Why. Are you not going to stay with me?"
"Not after last night Rafe. I'm sorry."
"Ivy please, i don't want to lose you"
"Then change."
"I will."
"Sure. I need to go. Bye."
"Bye."

What the fuck is wrong with me? I don't want to talk to him. I don't even want to be near him right now.

I walked back into the house.

"You okay Ivy?"
"Fine."
"Are you sure? You seemed stressed out on that phone call."
"I said I'm fine Pope!"
"Okay... sorry. No need to be rude"
"Sorry. I didn't mean to."
"It's fine. You wanna talk about it?"
"It's Rafe. I agreed to talk with him when I go to get clothes, but it's just really weird between us right now."
"How is it weird?"
"I mean. He hit me in the face last night. But some other stuff happened too."
"What?"
"I can't talk about it."
"Holy shit did you fuck Rafe?!"
"No!!! No. I didn't."
"Then what happened."
"Nothing."
"Okay. I'll stop annoying you then."

He got up and walked outside. I thought i was in the house on my own. Then JJ walked into the room.

"Not you again. Why are you still here?"
"Do you know what happened last night?"
"No. I don't wanna know. I want you to leave."
"Why!"
"Because you're a kook! You don't care about any of us! You're just using us until you can go back to your house on figure 8 then ignore us for the rest of your life!"
"How do you know that! And is Sarah not a kook? What makes you think I'm any different from her?"
"I see how you look at us. You don't like us."
"I do! God JJ get over it! I'm a kook, fair enough. But that doesn't mean I can't hang out with you guys! You could use my help."
"Yeah like you'd want to help us."
"I do want to help! Why are you being so ignorant! What have I done?"
"Nothing. That's the point. You've done nothing for us but probably show Rafe where John B is hiding!"
"I didn't tell him! I can't deal with this shit"
"Yeah just walk away!"
"I will, asshole!"

I started walking down the street. I texted Rafe.

'Omw. Not waiting if ur not home'

I really hope he doesn't talk about last night. I'm fine with him talking about the whole hitting situation. But what happened before that? Don't want to think about it at all.

I started banging on the front door.

"Rafe! Open the door! Let me in!!"

I saw him come down the stairs and unlock the door. I tried not to make eye contact as I walked in past him.

"Can we talk?"
"Let me get stuff first."
"You can't ignore me."
"I can."

I went up the stairs to Sarah's room. I made sure to grab enough stuff for the both of us.

Rafe came knocking on the door

"What do you want."
"To talk."
"Talk then."
"You can try and forget what happened last night. But you can't undo it."
"What happened last night?"
"Okay. You be like that."
"Like what?"
"I'm trying to talk to you. I'm trying to stay calm. Please just listen."
"Okay. Carry on."
"Like I've said so many times. I'm sorry for hitting you. I regretted it as soon as I did it. You're one of the only people I can trust right now. So why are you acting so different?"
"I don't know. I thought it was all going to be just like before. But no. You're different, Sarah left, there's people dying. It feels like everyone grew up and changed without me."
"Well i guess you just have to get over it"
"Wow you're so nice. I'm leaving."
"Fine. Leave. Go run away to the pogues. They don't like you either Ivy. Nobody does. You're such a bitch."
"Shut the fuck up"

I shoved past him as I felt the tears filling my eyes. I wasn't going to cry in front of him. I wasn't going to give him the satisfaction of seeing he affects me.