Caught Between Two Worlds [ON-GOING]

Kabanata 1

His eyes glistened with tears and I had to look away before I changed my mind.

Muli kong dinampot iyong naibagsak kong hand carry noong hinila niya ako sa yakap kanina. Still committed to leave him and everything we had in here, I took a brave step toward the door. My heart was seizing inside my chest at every step I was making. My limbs felt heavy, I couldn’t seem to move them. Dahil sa totoo lang ay ayoko naman talagang gawin ito. Good bye was something I didn’t, never saw coming between us, but it was here now, sooner than I hoped.

We had been together since we were fifteen and we managed to last... until this very day.

I hated myself for doing this, for how my heart turned out to be like this, and at how this love story turned out to be. We used to be happy and carefree. Pero baka nga roon nagkamali. Baka roon nagkaroon ng problema. We tended to see differently through the eyes of love. At nalimutan ko... nalimutan ko na hindi nga lang pala sa pag-ibig umiikot ang mundo.

Isang hakbang na lang sana ay tuluyan na akong makalalabas ng pintuan. But he said something that made my legs immobile.

“Did you... regret choosing me?” Giac asked in an agonizingly slow manner. “Would you rather not take my hand that day?”

I bit my tongue, so hard that I could almost taste rust and copper, and I wouldn’t be surprise if there was already blood inside my mouth right now.

If this question was three years ago, my stubborn self would say no. Because that time, I just did what I thought was right. I finally was able to choose on my own and think about myself first, kahit pa mahirap at mabigat sa dibdib na gawin iyon. Kahit pa nasasaktan ko ‘yong kapatid ko. Kahit pa sinusuway ko ‘yong mga magulang ko. Pero ngayon, hindi na ako sigurado pa sa bagay na iyon.

I flinched when his hand softly touched and squeezed my right arm as if the caress would disguisingly wipe out all the pain I was feeling inside.

“Did you, huh? Did you regret choosing me, Delaney?” he demanded.

I opened my mouth but no words would want to come out. And because he was holding me by the arm, he was able to easily turn me around until I was facing him again.

Looking straight into my eyes, he asked me another question that shouldn’t be questionable in the first place.

Because I did.

I would always do love him.

Silly!

How fucking silly you are, Giacomo DeAndre!

“Hindi mo na ako mahal?” tanong niya.

I plucked up the courage to stay looking at him, not blinking at his beautiful pair of chocolate brown eyes that I would going to miss staring at and while secretly memorizing every details of his face. And when I was done and sure that they were already embedded in my brain, I finally told him the words that would surely break his heart into pieces, words enough to inflict pain in his whole being.