PREACHER MAN • One Shot

hi, this is my first English adventure on writing, please ignore the mistakes may made, it is just my second language and I'm playing and taking a chance to write like this. thx :)

p.s: in case you wanna read and listen to the song simultaneously, the link is up here!

_________________________________

- Don't ever call me again, Ross! Enough of this. - Heyoon screamed through the phone line.

And once she said, it's done. It's a law, she doesn't take it back. And actually that's the most terrifying thing to think about right now. But, honestly, no help it, I'm drunk. Again. Thinking about her.

I swear to myself I've already called my preacher, he's like my therapist or something like that. He's the one I look for when I need a good advice. I mean, he's connected with God, right? He has to have great advices from the Divine.

Perhaps, I'm not taking it this time... He said I shouldn't go after her anymore, 'cause she was supposed to be someone who will just use me and make me addicted to her as a drug. Well, it's too late. I'm already addicted, and going after her. I can't live one more night without her body heat...

It feels like I need it to survive, it's been a week since we last made out. I've been strong but not enough, not anymore, 'cause day by day I've been thinking about those moments, and her lips on mine... As I said: I can't help but surrender.

I know she doesn't want anything serious by now but I'll take a chance. I heard she was making out with anyone but me, by the way. At least, nobody has seen it. So, maybe, she could be in love with me just the way I'm in love with her.

Yeah, I admit. I'm crazy for her, to the point of not stopping drinking all over the week. Okay, I was not strong. I lied. All I could do was pray for her to call me or send me a text, anything that could sign me she wanted me too. But that didn't happen. So there was me calling her.

And also that's why I'm here, driving across the city, even my conscience is telling me to turn the car around. Man, I've got this demons, you know? The preacher said it, and they're telling me to go. Further into the night.

Damn, if I haven't drunk too much maybe I would be a little more rational and not let myself go to the humiliation state in front of her. But I can't stop thinking she worths it.

It's 6 a.m. and I still can remember what I told him at the phone hours ago, "Can you help me get away from this life of sin? Fix my soul or something like that, so I won't loose her love again."

I know I've been playing as a violin with the situation, like I could be that type of cold guy who never falls in love with anyone. But I'm not like that. So every day I've been stumbling through the door of my room after taking shots and shots of a lot of alcoholic drinks.

I thought that was all I needed to be able to not admit my feelings about her. Perhaps I was wrong. I failed with myself. But who cares? I'm almost pretty sure this is real love, I've never felt this way for no one before! Or am I just paranoid?

The point is: I don't wanna believe that there's not something more. I'm ashamed of the dark places I've been, however I can say she's the brightest one. And I don't want to loose a lover once again. Not this time.

I don't wanna repeat what I did before, giving up on someone I believe is the one for me, even though I'm so much more sure about Heyoon. So I'm going a hundred miles an hour.

The wind is in my hair, my arm stands on the window down but, as hard as I try, I can't utter out a prayer, 'cause my mouth is just too damn dry. Plus, the radio is blasting to keep me awake and I just gotta get back to her before it's just too late to us.

She's probably waking up, or going to sleep after a good party at the dorm. I don't care, or better, at least I'm trying not to. I'm determined to be down on my knees in front of her when I arrive there, and beg for her love.

That's right, I shouldn't be doing this, yeah, the preacher said it was a loss of time, but I can't think straight when the topic is her. Heyoon stole my heart and I didn't even notice. Maybe she didn't notice too. Whatever. The fact is: it's already done.

She said we were just for one night, and she seemed to be unreductable about it. However, we made out once or twice more after the first time, being against her own words. So, right now, I'm not really sure she meant we couldn't be something else.

She didn't want a serious relationship but what if I changed her mind after all our moments together? I need to try and I need to know. I wanna believe I'm that special to her. 'Cause she's more than any of that to me.

Turning left, right after the gate of her dorm, and stopping by the house in the corner of the main street, I could see her. She was heading home, keys in the hand, trying to put it into the door lock. Failing.

She was just like me: drunk as fuck. Surely, it would be more interesting than I thought. I've closed the car's door, so she finally could hear the thud and notice me. I stopped walking when she turned her head and connected her eyes onto mine. Holy shit. She's a goddess, I'm pretty sure.

She has powers, I swear. Otherwise, it wouldn't be so hard to let her go. I mean, I've made it so many times but I always come back. Again, I just can't help myself! She framed her eyebrows as she asked what I was doing there. At that point I didn't know anymore, also, what was my name tho?

Oh, alright, I'm Ross. I'm just an ordinary guy who lives running after love but it seems like I'm never gonna reach it. The way she looks at me right now made me feel so tiny that I could disappear with this feeling.

- You drunk...? - she concluded after I was some steps closer. Still stumbling.

- Yeah, and you too. - I rejoined to speak. She nodded as answering. - Why?

- It doesn't matter. - I almost could feel the breeze of her cold heart in the words she left. - I still don't know why you're here.

- You pretend so well. How can you? - honestly impressed, I asked. - I wish I could control my mind and feelings like that...

- What are you talking about? - she started to show kinda of her inner irritation.

- You're not going out with anyone. And I ain't, either. - I said, convicted. Looking at her live expressions, I can read her. She felt the same, I knew she did. Despite of her squeezed expression, I also knew she was able to understand what I was talking about. Before she asked, I gave her the answer: - We like each other. We want to be together, don't we?

- You're really high. - she laughed, mocking me. It was a trial of denying.

- You can't lie anymore. I know you like me too, Heyoon. I'm not the only one suffering for the distance, as I can see.

- I don't need you. - she said fiercely. That hurts, but I can't let it get me down.

- I didn't said that. - I used the same intonation and she seemed surprised. - What I'm trying to say is: I am the one who needs you.

My confession made her gasp, suddenly. I knew it, her face said it all. She was touched, 'cause obviously she feel the same for me. I. Knew. It. And once in a lifetime, I was really sure something would go right for me. I pulled her closet to me, letting our lips almost touching each other. She didn't take her eyes off of mine.

- You won't hear that from me... - she whispered, already knowing what I was about to say. I smiled, saying it anyways.

- I love you, Heyoon. - finished my confession, making her heartbeat go faster. So intense, I could feel it against my skin. - And I don't need you to say that too, 'cause I can read it through your eyes...

- Ew, what a cheesy you are. - she said with humor and we both laughed this time. Now, it was a trial of confessing herself.

But at the end of the story that was all I needed from her, to make sure I could put us together again. Finally.

____________________________________

hey, you! thanks for reading my first song fic, it means a lot! i hope you enjoyed it as much as i did writing :) oh, and, please, let me know what u guys would think about starting a series like that, based on songs, I've been thinking about it for a while, so... who knows, uh? anyways, see ya'll!