May there always be light

Chapter one

The sun beams down from the sky, straight into the classroom of 13b. A woman with shoulder-length, light brown hair is standing in front of the class. She's holding the exams from her math course in one hand and waving the other in the air. Half the students are just staring at their tablets, while one student is hunched over slightly.
It's Roswitha. She has shoulder-length brown hair and doe-like eyes. She knows the exam didn't go well. Not at all. She's nervous and just wants to get it over with. Her high school diploma depended on this stupid math exam, and that was enough to put her in a bad mood.
At some point, the teacher named Andrea Bauer takes pity on them and wordlessly puts each student's exam on the table. There are still two minutes until the end of class.
Several of her classmates open their papers, and as soon as she looks at her friend Nayja and notices her startled look, all desire is gone. There goes my high school diploma, she thinks to herself, and turns the paper over. A single point.
She shivers. With the best will in the world, that couldn't be. Meanwhile, her friend sits transfixed in front of her table.
Roswitha feels tears running down her cheek. But she wipes them away. Don't show any sign of weakness now, she thinks to herself, and packs her things. As soon as the bell rings, she leaves the classroom without another word. She speeds up and at some point on her way to the lockers, she can no longer hold back her tears.
Then Roswitha realizes that she still wanted to fill up her water bottle and stops abruptly and suddenly a tall older man with shoulder-length, grey-white curls runs into her. Roswitha loses her balance and stumbles. Her counterpart is startled and tries to grab the student's hand, in vain. Roswitha doesn't care at all. It was her own fault anyway. She takes a deep breath and tries to stand up when the older gentleman offers her his hand. She is grateful and accepts. As she does so, her eyes fall on the face of her counterpart and she begins to tremble. Facing her was Dr. Brian Harold May, the guitar player of QUEEN. This couldn't be real. She had probably fainted from the fall and was dreaming it all. But it seemed so real but why on earth should Brian May be in her school when he was actually British.
Roswitha did not get further with her thoughts, because her counterpart was visibly shocked and inquired after her.
“Are you all right? I am beyond sorry, but you were there, and I haven't seen you coming. Wait, are you crying? Are you hurt?"
“Me? ehh, I am all right. Please don't worry. Are you as well? I am so sorry Dr. May, but I realised that I forgot something. "
“Oh darling, it's all right and please don't call me like that, okay? I am Brian. And you don't have to worry. I am just glad that you are okay. Who are you?"
“I am Roswitha. And I can't believe that you are here I mean, in this school."
“I feel beyond glad to meet you. I was here for some music project but honestly it was kind of boring. "
Brian May grins and smiles mischievously at his counterpart. Somehow the girl reminded him of himself. Especially with the blade curls that had accompanied him since childhood.
“Brian, I am glad myself that I met you. You really made my day, even if I ran into you what I am so sorry for. I really didn't mean to. Your guitar talent is out of this world, I swear it is! "
“Oh, thank you so much. I am glad that I did. But please don't apologize it's fine. I should have watched out myself. Let's just agree it was our fault but through this we had this really nice little conversation. Do you play guitar yourself and wait, did something happen so your day wasn't lightful in any kind of way until now? "
The bell rings a second time and more and more students run through the hall. Brain and Roswitha understand each other increasingly worse due to the high volume and more and more teachers look sceptically in the direction. Roswitha knew it was long past time for her to leave. That had been her last lesson in math and she would have to come back this afternoon at 3 p.m. for a double lesson in German.
She hated not answering people's questions but at the moment she just couldn't, she was talking to a legend, which was actually too good to be true, and she knew that she would be required to at least leave the school building. Besides, the risk was too high that she would annoy Brain May with her problems, no that was out of the question. Brain May had already been through enough with the loss of his father Harold and his best friend Freddie Mercury.
Brian May gets kind of insecure, why didn't the girl answer him.
Had he said something that had hurt her. He always tried so hard to be as normal as possible with everyone around him. He did not want to be perceived as the guitarist of Queen, but as a dear, loyal person, but unfortunately this was only wishful thinking in the end.
“Roswitha is everything all right? Did I say something harmful ? "
Roswitha was startled. She had been so much in thought that she had almost completely blanked out and forgotten her counterpart.
“No, ehh I mean yes. I just, you know I think I have to leave the building now as it's not allowed for us students to be inside of the schoolhouse while breaks. I will go to the bicycles as mine is standing there. And then I will go home ' cause my next lessons is at 3 pm. But If you want, you could guide me until then and we can continue our little conversation, and could I maybe get an autograph from you?                                                  It would mean a lot to me! "
Brian began to smile at his counterpart, well it seemed to work, he thought to himself, but there was something he didn't like about it at all, and that was the fact that he had seen Roswitha crying even before she had fallen down. And suddenly it jerked through his head like a flash. He had those sometimes. Even if his youngest daughter Emily, who was already 37 years old, thought he was crazy, he was still convinced that it was Freddie who was trying to make him aware of things now and then.
He began to realize that Roswitha had been honest with him, because the first part of her answer came from her soul and that scared him, because if the feeling in him was right, his counterpart was psychologically anything but well and that was worrying for him, after all, he knew this feeling and this mental state only too well.
“Okay, well then let's go, but actually I have a better idea. You'll come with me to Frankfurt, we'll have lunch together and then I'll send you out to school again. What do you think? You still haven't told me if you play the guitar yourself. "
And again Brian May smiles mischievously at Roswitha, just as he had done as a teenager. Many things had changed over the years and he had grown up and matured, but his humour and his manner had always remained the same, which was very important to him.
“And of course, you'll get your autograph and even a picture with me".
Then Roswitha also had to smile and finally agreed. She had more than earned a nice day after all that had happened.
Brain quickly hooks up with Roswitha and the two run together to the train station, where they take the next train to Frankfurt.
As soon as they have found a nice restaurant in the city centre, they sit down at one of the tables, order and then enjoy the view, but of course Brain does not let go.
“But now as we are here and have some time for ourselves, what happened? Why aren't you alright? And believe me, I know that something is wrong. If you don't feel comfortable yet to talk about it, it's alright for me too but don't think like not telling me because I am technically a celebrity. Because just no okay? I have asked you and it would mean a lot if you'd be honest okay? "
Roswitha knows that she actually has to be honest. That's how her mother had raised her and that was, after all, essential in life. Honesty, loyalty and respect.
At some point, she gives herself a break and begins to talk. When she too is permanently fiddling with her silver ring, as she always does when she was nervous or unsure. Alright, if Brian May wanted to hear it, she would be honest.
“All right Brian, but can you promise me one thing? Before I start, please? "
“Sure darling, what is it? "
“Well, what I will tell you now is my deepest secret. I haven't told anyone about it, and I don't plan to do it, so could you promise me to keep it as a secret and if you feel like it is getting too much then tell me, please? I admire you for so many reasons, you are kind of my hero in dark times and so especially is your music but to annoy you would be like my biggest nightmare so please tell me. "
“Roswitha, I swear to you that I will keep silent about it and that I will tell you, but I think it's impossible to annoy me. If you need someone to talk to but no one is here, that's a role I'd gladly take. You could be my granddaughter. I mean from age and your curls. You know what I mean, I suppose. "
Roswitha has to smile. The thought pleases her very much. Unfortunately, she had lost her grandparents when she was very young and it didn't stay with that.
“Alright, I try to make it as short as possible. Three years ago, I lost my dad to cancer and three months ago I lost my mom to that horrible disease as well. They both fought until the end, and I was with them when they died. Now I am alone. Life is hard isn't it? You know so well what I am talking about don't you? But your music has been some kind of help and relief to me when everything seems so worthless and like it is breaking into little pieces. I love life, please don't get me wrong but it's hard. This morning I got my math exam back. I failed. Which means I failed graduating even before the final exam. I am a loser and how should my parents be proud of me? Yes I know that my teacher hates me as she wants to get rid of people like me. Because I don't pay money to go to school as I can't. I can barely pay my small flat and the food I need. You know, On some days I feel as there is nothing to fight for, not a single reason for me. I can't graduate if I fail math... it doesn't matter if I have an excellent in all other subjects... and without graduation, I have no chance to study biology which is my dream... but maybe life just has different plans for me but at least I can still play the guitar which makes me forget how cruel life can be."
Brian May was shocked, he had not expected that at all, but he knew the feeling only too well, when the ground is pulled away from under your feet, you stumble, fall down and then have to get up again. He felt sorry for Roswitha. He had no idea who she was, he didn't even know her age, but he could understand her thoughts and feelings. He knew what it meant to be alone, even if in the end he had friends by his side, especially Roger Taylor after Freddie's death.
Even though Roswitha was still a stranger, at least in theory, he took her in his arms and stroked her curly head. Somehow he imagined having a granddaughter in the same way. Unfortunately, all his children had decided against having children of their own. He understood them, but of course he had secretly wished for at least one grandchild.
Actually, Roswitha had never been the person who liked hugs, especially not from strangers. With her parents it had once been something else, but after their death she had always rejected hugs. Only when her best friend Nayja hugged her had it been okay for her now and then. Surprisingly, Brain May's hug did her good. It felt good to mean something to someone at least for a short moment. And somehow she didn't feel obliged to appear strong like she usually did. Here she was allowed to be herself and she was allowed to show her emotions as they were.
Brain May clearly senses how much this small gesture meant to Roswitha and how much she also needed it, but probably just didn't dare to ask. For a few more minutes he hugged her in silence, then sat up straight again and tried to smile at Roswitha, even though he struggled with tears. In the end, he was more sensitive than some might think. Yes, he was a grown-up man, but that didn't stop him from showing his feelings. And that was exactly why his wife Anita had once fallen in love with him. The two had come to know and love each other over the years.
After Roswitha had regained her composure to some extent, she reached down, took a tissue paper from her green rucksack and wiped her tears away. Her voice is brittle but still clearly understandable.
“Thank you Brian! For everything. You have done more for me than anyone else in my surroundings! I'll never forget that and your kindness towards me. You are a real hero!"
“Roswitha, I understand how you feel so why on earth shouldn't I care if I know your situation. Not the exact same one but quite similar. So, everything else would have been cruel to do. I mean knowing that someone suffers but not doing anything about it is the worst you can do! But is there anything that could in any way help you?"
“No Brian, you did way enough. Yes that hug was what I needed. And so was the conversation, just the feeling to matter to someone, even if it is for the blink of an eye. I will never forget that! "
However, the two did not get any further in their conversation, because a young waiter brought them the salads and they ate in silence.
Roswitha tried to make herself small, just as she felt. Brian didn't like that at all. He felt guilty.
“Roswitha, smile. It fits you well and there is nothing to hide from. Believe me."
So she dares and tries to sit up as straight as possible and begins to smile at her counterpart. At some point, the two talk about guitars and Queen's music. It does Roswitha good to laugh and have fun again.
Brian Harold May was an incredibly kind, loyal, funny, but also sensitive person. That's how Roswitha's parents had always described her grandfather. The longer they talk, the faster the time passes.
At some point it is already five minutes to half past three. Brian accompanies Roswitha to the right platform, hugs her once more and wishes her good luck. Roswitha gets on, waves goodbye and the train starts moving. She can hardly believe that it had really all happened. She would never forget that day again. Maybe there would be a way for her to reach her dream, somehow.
As soon as Roswitha's train has disappeared into the distance, Brian turns to walk to his hotel, but again he has a flash of inspiration.
“Thank you Freddie"
Brian May murmurs and runs back to the track, he would go back to school and have a word with Roswitha's principle, that was what he owed her and somehow Freddie too. Roswitha had no one and she needed him and he certainly wouldn't let her down.
Meanwhile, Roswitha arrives at her school ten minutes later, hurries to her locker, gets her German book and runs to the classroom. She's early again, but that was nothing new for her. At least this way she wasn't late. Silently, she sits down in the first row and begins her study notes for the final exams. She doesn't know if she will even be admitted to it, but still, studying felt much better than just sitting there silently. 
As soon as the lessons started, she was fully concentrated and Brian May had completely disappeared from her mind. Now it was somehow a matter of paying attention and picking up a few last things for the final exams and for the future. At least German lessons meant more fun than the maths lessons in the morning.
At the same time, Brian May arrives at the school. Without any detours, he goes to the headmaster's office. He was aware that he was not a big fan of achieving anything with money, but here he was aware that sometimes there was simply no way around it, and it was worth it to him if he could give Roswitha a chance to realise her dream that way, that was fine with him too.
“Mr. Gregory, I am sorry to interrupt your work, but I need to talk to you, now. It's important."
For a long time Tim Gregory tried to talk it out, he himself absolutely did not understand why someone like Brian May was worried about an unimportant pupil. If she had to repeat the class, then that would be the case. After all, this was not his problem and he had more important things to do.
Brian Harold May was a very calm person who could hardly be irritated. But the emphasis was on "almost", because at some point even Brian May's patience ran out.
“Mister Gregory, I am apologizing for the words I have to use but what on earth gives you the right to talk like that about your student? What have she ever done to you?!"
“Oh, but Dr May, it is quite easy. She goes to my school without paying for it. Officially it's allowed but I mean money is everything these days, I am sure you understand. It is time that she finally learns a lesson. Either she finds a way to pay for the school or she has to leave it!"
“DO you even have any idea what that girl has to go through? Any idea? „Well, it doesn't matter to me and it's not my own problem. You know, time is money so I would gladly say goodbye to you now."
“What a heartless person you are! Roswitha lost both of her parents within the last three years. She has nobody and all you think of is how to earn more money and how to throw even more stone onto her way... how can you even sleep at night?"
“Well Doctor May, I am sorry, but it just isn't my own problem. And that's it"
“Okay, well then all right. I will pay for Roswitha's education. Give me a second I will write you a check."
Mr Gregory looks a little perplexed but then accepts the offer and promises that Roswitha will be given the opportunity to write the exam again with another teacher to prove that she had the correction to write her final exams in May.
As Roswitha leaves the classroom, she briefly plays with the idea of simply taking her German book home, but the will not to take it with her was stronger. In retrospect, she identifies it as fate, because none other than Brian May is waiting for her there.
He smiles at her and she falls into his arms, like an old relative, which he somehow was for her. She had known him for half her life, but only the figure, not the real personality she was now facing.
At first she is shocked and doesn't want to accept under any circumstances that he is paying for her school, but at some point she gives up, because she understands that maybe she deserved it after all.