A Court Of Shadows and Sin

Chapter 15

The starry night illuminates the 10,000 steps ahead of me, the wind from the mountains whispering against my skin. I've never attempted these stairs before, but the burning inside of me makes it impossible for me to walk away.

I'm mad.

I know I could just wait until morning and ask Rhysand or Cassian to take me but I don't want to have to rely on others. This is something I need to do on my own, since I've already been turned away once.

I have to make sure Amara is ok, even if it's without Azriels help.

I cringe at the thought of is name.

I'm embarrassed that I went to him for help, that he saw me so ..vulnerable. I'm even more embarrassed that I thought he would leave the women in his bed to help me.

I won't be making that mistake again.

I wasted no time changing into my unworn training leathers and boots, strapping five knives I stole from the armoury to my body. My hair is tied into a braided bun at the bottom of my head.

And so my decent begins.

1,000 steps

2,000 steps

3,000

My legs begin to shake with every step, the pressure buckling my left knee. Sweat pours off me, coaxing my skin in a glaze as my chest attempts to gather as much air as possible.

My chest heaves in exhaustion as my body shakes internally. Who do I think it am? I've only just started to fill out and I think I can take on 10,000 steps?

Laughable.

I can't do this.

I can't do this.

Don't give up, you have to get to Amara

Amara
Amara.

Just thinking of her lights a fire within me, the way she cried out in my nightmare, the way she sounded so small.. two things that most definitely aren't her.

I'll be damned if something has happened to my best friend too.

A burning begins to simmer under my skin, making the hairs all over my body stand instantaneously.

Chanel it my child, let it out.

I pause on the 3,267th step, taking in a deep breath of the icy air before closing my eyes. The fire runs through my blood- no, no it is my blood. I feel it run through every vein, every cell, every vessel.

Yes that's it my girl, let it in.

It boils under my skin, bubbling, taunting me with its potential, begging me to give in. I reach out a hand mentally, reaching down into the well that is full of nothing but power.

It's yours, all yours.

The fire dances across my finger tips as I take a quick inhale of air. It doesn't hurt, it hypnotises me as the light and darkness dance as one. I open my eyes slowly, looking back at the 7 thousand steps I have left to master before looking down at my hands.

To my amazement I draw my eyes over the two large flames resting above my palms.

It doesn't hurt anymore, it feels like

Home.

———————————————

9,999

10,000

The wind abruptly vanishes as I take my last step.
I lock eyes with a large wooden door, a black knob begging me to open it.