𝐖𝐈𝐋𝐃 𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐑𝐓, Miguel Diaz

S02:E03

•~3rd person P.O.V~•
After yelling at some sales clerk, Johnny was able to get his computer to work, and he was taught what a flash drive was and how to use it. Soon, Rachel appeared on the screen, her knees bent beneath her chin with her arms wrapped around her legs. She often sat like that as a child. He pressed the big white play button and soon heard Rachel's voice.

Rachel:I suck at words.

Ms. Sandra:That's okay, but to progress with your therapy, you need to let this out, okay?

Rachel:*nods*

Ms. Sandra:Rach, do you love your dad?

Rachel:Yes, well...most times I do.

Ms. Sandra:Why only most times?

Rachel:Well, sometimes, it's like he can't even tell that I'm there. It's like I'm a window and all he can see through it is Miguel or Robby. Sometimes it's like he can't stand me. I know I broke him a Shannon up just by existing but that really wasn't my fault, I couldn't help that I was created.

Ms. Sandra:What about other times?

Rachel:Other times, I just remember everything he's done for me and it makes me feel terrible for hating him. He saved me. He didn't have to take me away from mom, he didn't have to stick around, and he didn't have to take me to the beach or baseball games.

Ms. Sandra:Has your dad always been this way to you?

Rachel:No, I mean, some of my best memories are with my dad.

Ms. Sandra:Tell me one of them.

Rachel:It was the day he took me away from mom. We didn't have anywhere to go, we didn't have the apartment yet and it was the middle of the day. My dad called his boss, and his boss gave him the rest of the day off so dad took me to a sort of Steak 'N Shake type place. He told me to tell him everything, so I did, and I cried and cried. I cried until I couldn't breathe and then he asked me if I wanted to go to the beach. It was weird because he wasn't asking me what I did to make her do it or saying he wished I'd said something sooner or just completely not believing me. He took me to the beach, laying out our matching bright orange beach towels and setting the bright red cooler on them filled with Coke, water, Dr. Pepper, and snacks. We collected rocks and shells and played volleyball until my wrists and arms were red. We tried to ride the waves and I remember swallowing so much salt water. I still have the rocks in a big jar in the corner of my room but as we started to watch the sunset like we did every time we went there, he said "You know it wasn't your fault. It wasn't really even your mom's fault, she's just so hopped up on drugs, and she does love you. She shouldn't have asked you to keep it a secret, you're just a kid, you shouldn't be worrying about her." and it sorta stuck in my head ever since then. Whenever I go to the beach, even now even though my dad stopped going with me, I still collect rocks. Elaine used to help me too, she'd pick out rocks she thought me or my dad would like and she picked out rocks that were her favorite colors. I still pick up rocks I think my dad likes. Bright red or orange ones, rocks that are big so he wouldn't lose them, those were the ones he liked. But that memory that's probably so small in his memories, is so gigantic in mine. When I'm upset, I go there in my head if I can't go to the beach.

Ms. Sandra:I bet you wish you and your dad could be that close again.

Rachel:I'd do anything for us to be like that again.

Ms. Sandra:What do you think happened when you were ten? Why do you think your dad stopped caring?

Rachel:He didn't have anything to protect me from or at least anything he knew of. He'd saved me from the biggest threat in my life and I guess since I was older he thought I didn't need him anymore.