Hermione's Bulgarian Boyfriend - A Harry Potter Fanfiction

R/Hr but features some extremely minor H/G in the first sentence. It's so minor I don't even know why I mentioned it.

Disclaimer: Come on people, I'm J.K Rowling, Only Joking, I'm taking the piss, I just hope I don't get sued for this.

Hermione's Bulgarian Boyfriend

*In The Common Room*

"Tell her mate" Harry urged Ron, who had been staring at Hermione for the past half an hour, before he went off to find his girlfriend, Ginny.

"Fine, I will"

Ron got up and tapped Hermione gently on the shoulder and said, "Hermione, can I to talk to you please... Alone."

Hermione was about to reply when Ron shouted "Hang on! Who's that letter off?" suddenly spotting the novel worthy letter Hermione was holding.

"It's none of your business who the letter is off" she snarled back

"It's not off Vicky is it?"

"For your information, even though it's absolutely NONE of your business, it is off VIKTOR"

Ron muttered something that sounded like "Bloody Bulgarian Pumpkin-head" under his breath.

"What was that Ron?"

"Wh-what was what?"

"What you muttered under your breath"

"Oh, that, it was erm... nothing"

"Fine, but you said you wanted to talk to me?"

"Well erm... yeah, firstly I would like to apologise about before and secondly I erm... would just like to erm... say that I erm... really-"

"Apology accepted and would you like to go somewhere more private?"

"If you wouldn't mind. The boys dorm is empty."

"Okay, let's go then." And she dragged Ron by the hand up to the boys dorm.

*In The Boys Dorm*

Ron and Hermione are sitting on Ron's bed in an awkward silence before Hermione quietly asks, "So what did you want to tell me?"

"Oh, erm... just that I erm... love you and I have since I saved you from that troll, you just looked so innocent and helpless that I just couldn't help falling in love with you"

"Ron-"

"Well I know you probably don't feel the same way about me and are about to tell me your boyfriend, Krum has just asked you to elope with him and you've said you will"

"Ron-"

"So just break my heart as quickly as you possibly can"

"RON!" "What?"

"Well first of all Viktor ISN'T my boyfriend and he never will be, it would never work out because he just isn't my type and-"

"And what exactly is your type?"

"Well, they have to be my friend of course, they need to have blue eyes, they need to be younger than me but only slightly and they have to be born in March."

"Really?"

"Really! And as I was saying, and secondly I'm in love with someone else and I'm talking to him right now."

Hermione slowly leant over to Ron and covers his mouth with hers, soon enough Ron kisses her back and soon their tongues are battling in each others mouth.

After they, somewhat reluctantly, break apart because of exhaustion, Hermione whispers "I love you too, Ron" into Ron's ear.

"And anyway I've already had a Bulgarian Boyfriend."