Meet Zoe

"I wonder how long we will wander."

She faintly recognized her own silhouette in the dimly lit, foggy mirror. "I wonder how long we will wander" she whispered to her blurred reflection. The air was heavy with water. Steam filled the small room and rested within her lungs. Every inhale - a burden. Every exhale - a tiring, yet necessary release. She stared deeper at herself. As if waiting for the reflection to answer.

The quiet music of water beads rolling down the mirror and tapping the counter is the metronome for her thought pattern. Soft, rhythmic, barely melodic - yet consistent.

Was she home? Has she ever returned to the feeling of home? Does she even remember what that feeling was and would she be able to recognize it if she were there? Is home a new place with a familiar, yet unquestionable security that wraps around from the inside, out?

They say not all who wander are lost, but do all that wonder know the feeling of being found? Do they know when to stop wandering? Or do they know that being comfortable with the uncomfortable, fearless of the journey, curious about the quest, is when the real adventure begins?

It is cliche to hear people say "it's about the journey, not the destination" and wonder if they are just repeating what they've heard, or yearning to know what they know.

This isn't the first time Zoe has stared at herself in the mirror pleading to her reflection to feel something other than lost. Ever since she moved away from home, it felt like the world around her was changing faster than she could keep up with. 

The dreams she once had as a young girl are no longer the same dreams. She no longer aspires to be who she expected herself to be at this point in her life. On top of that, she still can't decide if she is okay with that. No matter how many times she asks - no responses. It's a foggy mirror staring back at her. 

The water beads on her face could be tears, sweat, condensation, or wet hair. She doesn't even know at this point. The tormented battle within her head is louder than the deafening silence that fills the room. 

Her long black hair brushes against her waist. She takes inventory of the woman staring back in the mirror. The voice of the little girl inside of her, tugs at her attention. 

For the last decade, Zoe has been on a mission to create the life her younger self dreamt of. 

She got close once - close enough to realize it wasn't what she pictured. 

The movies made this life significantly more glamorous and enticing than it would ever be. Part of her is grateful that she realized that it wasn't what she wanted before she spent years dedicated to building the stepping stones for the career of a corporate lawyer. The other part is seething with frustration and internal conflict. 

As she navigates her daily life as a young woman, between friendships, romance, and life-altering course-changing decisions,  Zoe tiptoes into the unknown. Like the blind leading the blind, letting her life unfold based on the decisions. 

Meanwhile, on her quest for the woman she is becoming, Zoe hides one large aspect of her identity from the daylight.

Zoe spends her days hiding from her biggest secret that consumes her nights, an alter ego she is trying desperately to build a life separate and apart from. The identity gained traction and recognition before she could even recognize the woman she is. 

As the sun begins to fall into the evening and dusk approaches, Zoe's attention shifts from the mirror to the window. A soft orange light spills into the room. She towel dries her hair and stares back at her reflection as the fog starts clearing and her reflection becomes even more apparent. 

"I supposed I wander until I decide on a destination," she whispers to herself. 

She turns on the lights in the room and closes the blinds. She picks up her phone to call Squid. 

"Are you in the car? If not, then you're late" the voice on the phone laughs. 

Zoe stares back in the mirror, the person in the mirror staring back looks different. Hardly recognizable to her as her own reflection. 

"What are they going to do ... start without me?" Zoe snickers, "They couldn't if they tried."Her lips peel back.