Auf Wiedersehen Sweetheart

Chapter 14

"Feli! Mio Dio, Feli... cosa faccio... non so cosa fare!"

"Schwarz Leader, another one coming down on your tail, six o'clock high, over."

"Listen to me, Lovino. I can't understand you. You have to stop panicking. He is still breathing."

"I'm on it." Ludwig manoeuvred his plane into a hard dive descent, turned abruptly, and fired. The Mustang had no chance. It exploded into a dazzling inferno against the clear blue sky. Ludwig flew over the falling wreckage and went immediately, determinedly, for the next enemy aircraft.

"You have to keep him warm during the drive, and keep this pressure on the wound. Do not stop the pressure, Lovino, understand?"

"Schwarz Leader, you are flying too erratically. I am having trouble keeping on your wing..."

"I am so sorry, sir, I did not realise... i-it was j-just... just a mistake... I swear, sir, if I had known..."

Ludwig practically snarled into his mask. "You will keep up, Schwarz Two. You will do your damn duty and you will push them back!" Another Mustang fell, spiralling towards the ground in trails of flaming smoke. Ludwig felt only the slightest rush of satisfaction before scanning the sky swiftly for his next target.

"I can't... We can't go with them! Ma è una pazzia! What if they..."

"There are too many, Schwarz Leader! Lieutenant, you're flying directly into - Beilschmidt, what the hell are you doing?"

"Lovino, they will take Feliciano to the nearest doctor, then leave immediately. They are just soldiers, not SS. They do not know you are Resistenza."

Ludwig couldn't stop. Enemy planes surrounded him, outnumbered his squad. But he could not stop; he could not make himself stop. This familiar, comforting chaos was the only thing that almost drowned out his memories, almost drowned out his fears. Almost. Ludwig shouted into his mask. "I am the commander of this squad, so you will follow my orders, Schwarz Two. Engage enemy aircraft!"

"They just shot him! How can we trust them? Why should I trust you?"

Turn, fire, dive, climb. Get one down, move on to the next. Keep his squad together. Focus, breathe. "This is Schwarz Leader to Schwarz squadron. We will not pull back from this. Force them into retreat. That is an order."

"Because you have no choice. I would die for him, Lovino, if I could. But this is all I can do. Now go!"

Only when the skies around him were clear did Ludwig finally feel his heart beat in his chest, his lungs fill with air. Only when there were no enemy fighters left to engage did he stop to think. An angry voice crackled through his speakers and drowned out the blood roaring in his ears. "Ground Control to Schwarz Leader. You will bring your squad back to base immediately!"

Once safely landed at the base, Ludwig leapt from his plane, his blood pounding, his head hazy with fury. He threw his headgear angrily to the ground and charged immediately to where his wingman climbed from his own plane. The man's feet had barely hit the ground before Ludwig grabbed him by the collar and slammed the shocked pilot against the side of the machine. "You will never question me in the middle of battle, understand? NEVER!"

The wingman looked like he was about to respond angrily, but Ludwig felt his eyes flare and the man just dropped his gaze and looked away. "Yes, sir."

Ludwig shoved him away forcefully before turning and marching across the airfield, feeling the eyes of his squad on him as he went. He headed directly for the command tent to explain himself yet again.

When Ludwig first arrived back, the military had not asked too many questions. For that, he was grateful. They accepted his made-up story of how he had escaped, sent him on to the next base, and almost before he knew it Ludwig was back to flying, back to doing what he knew best. Back to the same daily schedule, the same day in, day out, the same old black and white. And yet, something was different now. It used to be so easy. When he flew for duty, and his country was all that mattered. When he was a rising young hero of the Luftwaffe who knew nothing of true love or real fear or wide, amber eyes that glittered in early sunshine and afternoon firelight. Now, when Ludwig flew, all he wanted was the fire and the fury of it. The heat and the anger and the blood firing through his veins. Now, all he wanted was to take his mind somewhere else, and he was never quite sure if he wanted to remember or forget.