The landlord had yet to install functional blinds near the bathroom window which made me slightly visible to a wandering eye. I thought of this as I slipped my long-sleeved purple crop top, yoga pants, and sheer navy undergarments from my full but slender frame. Once completely undressed, I gently unfastened the golden clip that contained my wavy blonde hair to relieve my damp locks of further strain. The motion of releasing my soft hair down my back, past my shoulders, ending just shy of my delicate clavicles, led to an intense shiver down my spine. I lit a candle and dimmed the lights. After stopping the drain, I stepped into the bathtub, and sat down facing the back of the tub. I drew my legs inward and up toward my chest, attempting to partially cover myself as I adjusted the temperature of the water. I slowly poured orange flower sandalwood bath gel into the water and laid back to let the water flow onto my sore neck. I felt the tepid bathwater turn balmy as it crept up my thighs and lower stomach, relieving tension from my toned muscles. I sighed as the water and fragrant bubbles covered my chest.
Suddenly, I stood up and began massaging shower gel along the curves of my body in the warm candlelit glow. In this moment, I imagined a peeping tom sneaking through the open bathroom window to find me naked and covered in soap in the bathtub. I let myself indulge in this fantasy. In my mind, I stepped out of the bathtub, bubbles dripping down my fully exposed body to the floor and stared this man straight in the eye. Who was this dream man? His name was Bryan Kohberger, and he was about to give me the best orgasms of my life. Comfortable with my gaze, he smirked and slowly walked toward me. The naughty gleam in his eyes made the space already blushing between my thighs cramp with pangs of yearning. "I can't think about my colleague in this way...This is a heart attack waiting to happen", I thought. "But right and wrong are social constructs used for brainwashing", I recalled. Remorseless and unashamed, I closed my eyes and gave in to the bodily sensations paralyzing reason. As I sunk into the soothing waves, my feet pressed against the firm tub wall making my arms drop limp over the edge of the tub. Bryan walked closer to me, intensifying his eye contact with each step. I paused to take note of his exquisite jawline, entrancing eyes, and gelled hair.
Even though I saw Bryan every day at school he wasn't someone who I talked to frequently. Most days we didn't exchange hellos or goodbyes and seemed to just tolerate the other's presence. It dawned on me as to why this was. Bryan had a very stern demeanor and a way with shunning women. He towered above everyone in the office and rarely stayed on campus after he had finished his TA responsibilities for the day. I admitted to myself that tonight wasn't the first time that I had thought about what it might be like to touch his hand or kiss his lips. This brief but routine sexual tension was enough to force my brain to suppress it for my own survival. Every day, I wanted to inch my chair closer to his until we were arm to arm, curious if he would lean into me or pull away from me. I could sense that he also felt something between us, and we were both ignoring it. Tonight's fantasy wasn't random. I was letting my deepest desires play out in my mind.
This mental bliss broke upon hearing a creaking noise by the window. "It's just windy", I thought as I opened my eye to confirm this possibility. No. Someone was inside my apartment. More intrigued than startled, I stood up and stepped out of the bathtub, letting water and bubbles flow down my hard nipples, in between my thighs, and finally to the floor. As I reached for a towel, a man crept into the bathroom. I knew who had come to visit me by his exquisite jawline, entrancing eyes, and stern demeanor. I wondered if my desperation to put my hands all over him had somehow willed..or dared...Bryan to directly address this issue with me outside of normal school hours.
"What are you doing inside of my apartment, Bryan...", I asked in a seductive tone. "I was walking home from the bar and noticed that you were home. I couldn't get in through the front door and didn't want to bother you by ringing the doorbell, so I just climbed in through the open window. There is something we need to discuss. It can't wait any longer", he said, with several long pauses between confessions. As Bryan spoke to me, I caught his eyes scanning my naked body. He made eye contact with me, this time with raised eyebrows. God – he was so sexy, and I wanted him to stop talking and drag me to my bed and have his way with me. "Bryan? Is now really a good time?" "Yes", he insisted without any hesitation in his voice. "What is there to explore? Do elaborate." "I want you to go out with me". Jesus fucking Christ. He couldn't even say I want to go out with you. He was so arrogant that this statement came out as a command. "I don't think I can go out like this, Bryan. What do you think?", I said, inviting him to make a move on me. "You definitely can't go out like this. Why don't we have a date in?", he replied. "I want you now, Bryan", I shot back, flirting with him as hard as I had wanted to every day working alongside him grading at school.
