Lying is the New Truth

Her

People often say that it is not okay to lie. I find this quite surprising because I am a huge fan of lying. I'd go so far as to say that the truth can sometimes be seriously overrated.

All my life I have been nothing but a liar. My parents thought that I'd soon grow out of it when I turned older but they were in for a surprise.

At the age of five, I lied to my parents that I had killed my big brother, Caden. Stabbed his little heart out and fed it to our dog, Rexxy. Of course they believed it because I had not only had a knife with 'blood' on it, but also the running fake tears running from my eyes proved of my undoing. I remember, my mom had fainted while my dad started wailing. Seeing my dad cry, made me cry harder and I don't even know why.

It did not help that some minutes later, Caden had risen from the dead and just stared at us with a surprised look. When his eyes found the 'blood' stained knife in my hand and mom lying on the floor unconscious is when it suddenly dawned to him that, I had murdered my mother.

Oh how I had enjoyed the look on his face! His first instinct was to obviously come and take the knife away from me, which I had allowed it without a say. I had stopped crying and my dad just stared at him like a deer caught by headlights. Probably wondering how the hell he was alive.

"Caden...w-what are you d-doing here? Aren't you supposed to be dead or something?" He had asked.

Caden looked at him as if he had lost his mind. "Dad, as you can see, it is I in the flesh. What the hell has just happened?"

"Ocean killed you."

He burst out laughing. "Really now? You believe that her," he pointed a finger towards me mockingly, "Can kill me, a 10 year old strong man?"

Leave it to him to be so cocky at such a time. Mom woke up after a first aid and they soon came to find out that, I, was not only a drama queen but a pathological liar. The worst liar there could have ever been.

The truth is, I had just applied my mom's red nail polish on the knife and just went on with my evil scheme.  Which they had totally believed.

Their theory that I was indeed suffering from Pseudologia fantastica seemed true when a few months later, I lied that my nemesis, Loren, had not been on fire when the truth was, she had actually been on fire. May her soul rest in peace, but it wasn't my damn fault. Atleast that's what I believed.

I lied about everything. My feelings, my life, to my friends, to my family. Even to my boss. It's like lying was part of me. It's like when God created me in my mom's womb, He had added lying as an ingredient in my genetic make up. I could not just stop lying!

I first went to see a therapist when I was just 5 years old a few days after I attended Loren's burial. My family thought that it was best for me. They hoped that my lying disorder would deteriorate and maybe, I can be a normal kid. I hoped so too but I had already embraced what I was.

My first session with Dr. Ander was quite a bore. I hated socializing. He established that when I just stared at him for almost an hour as he asked countless questions that consisted of my likes and dislikes. I only got to answer one question he had asked that I found intriguing.

He had asked what i thought about people. And I remember what I had answered. "People are suffocating, and I love being an island."

"And why do you think that?" He had asked.

"Because they are the ones who get to influence our lives."

"Why is that, Ocean?"

"When I have a friend, he or she would become my priority. Whether first or second or whatever and I don't like the thought of that. I, I am my only priority. I just love being me, myself and I."

"What I get from all that is that, you are a selfish person. Very stuck up and obnoxious. Do you think so too?"

Imagine telling that to a five year old? I loved Dr. Ander for that. He was like a supervillain who knew all about me, here to save me and yet not knowing that I was indeed, a lost cause. He was heartless and so was I.

I have been having this sessions until I reached 20- my current state actually, and nothing has really changed. Well, except for Dr. Ander who has aged and I, have blossomed and become a youth.

I was still that old conniving liar. The only thing that had changed was my life. As much as I had said that I loved to be an island, I had actually found a person who'd been there for me regardless of my condition- my boyfriend Harris. The moment my eyes had first seen him my little dark heart couldn't deny that he was, an easy target for my prawns. But I liked him. He was just so sweet, and kind, and had this awesome and cute smile that was totally infectious and melted my black heart.

This however, did not hinder me from lying to him. Sometimes he was just so charming that I couldn't resist it. He'd get offended, but at the end of the day, I'd make it better for him.

I went to campus and my life has been great. I stopped lying to my family...okay, who am I kidding? I sure as hell didn't stop that, but they got used to it. My mom apparently had stated that, I had inherited that gene from my grandma who had been a notorious woman, the Lord bless her soul, and that they accepted me just the way I was.

And as much as I loved being an island, I decided to let some people in and venture into my world. I hoped they had buckled their seatbelts cause they were in for a ride!